crazy crazy

i feel like i have so much to do.
ever been there?
i don't know why i can't seem to catch up on anything.
i feel like i am always behind on laundry,
i have tons of editing to do,
i have a newsletter to write for The Porch - not to mention about 100 other things that i need to get done that has to do with the porch.
i have at least 3 emails that i have to reply to...but they're the kind of emails that take thought. and time...so i just haven't responded at all.
i have school that i need to be really focused on this week, since i plan to have the boys take their tests on friday.
i have my parenting video of the week that i have to do.
i haven't even fully unpacked from our trip to new jersey and i haven't blogged about my birthday boy yet.
and i feel like i could write about another million things here that i have to get done.
and do you know what i need the most?
to stop.
just stop.
be still.
i feel like that is literally the hardest thing for me to do.
i have been really thinking about hearing God speak to me.
i mean, actually HEAR him.
now...to totally put myself out there,
i don't feel like i know what hearing God speak to me really means.
i don't remember having this time where i just knew that this was God telling me to do something.
(sorry if your opinion of me just dropped a million percent. i am just keeping it real here.)
but do you know what i want to work on?
listening.
see, the Bible tells me that He does speak to me.
it says that His sheep hear his voice...and that word hear?
it means really hear. i would know - i looked it up in the greek. ha!
so my challenge to you...and to myself -
is to be still before God.
to stop what you are doing. give yourself a good 30 minutes where you will not allow anyone, or anything to interrupt you.
and just open your Bible. read. and then be quiet. be still.
i know that for some of you it might seem like an impossible feat to have 30 minutes to yourself.
but even if it means waking up early, just do it! make it a priority!

i need to do it myself.
right now.
because the editing can wait.
the emails can wait.
the newsletters and unpacking and laundry can wait.
my time with God?
can't wait. it can't.
i can't let it.
because if i decide to push that off,
if i decide to have it be one more thing on my enormous list of things to do...
then everything else in my life will suffer.
my relationships, my attitude, my actions.
and i don't want that. i really don't.
so for now?
i am going to stop. and just listen.
i can not wait to hear what God says to me.