whoever refreshes others will be refreshed

people tell me all the time how busy i am.
they tell me that they don't know how i do everything i do.

sometimes i think...busy? i mean, i guess.
i don't really think about it.
i just...live. i don't know.

and then sometimes i think...busy? and you don't know the HALF of it!!

i am busy. i do have a lot going on in my life right now, but i just kind of assume that everyone does!
i don't think of my life being all that much different from anyone else's.

being a townsend...or maybe it's from the baxter side - we are just fast people.
like seriously. we talk fast, we walk fast, we cook fast, we read fast, we just do everything fast.
except for drive fast. cuz that would be against the law. :)
i guess i just do a lot of things without really thinking about it.
that can be good, and bad.

this past month, especially, has been really full.
we have a full house. and we have full schedules.

when people ask if we can get together? i literally say...ok! i would love to! i have mondays, wednesdays and fridays open from 1:00-2:00.
unless i happen to have thrown a photo shoot in there..so ya! let's totally get together!

i don't mean to sound like i am tooting my own horn or anything, but i have a lot of people in my life that i feel need me.
i don't know how to type that without it sounding weird.
i just mean that i have a lot of people texting me, and a lot of people meeting me at starbucks (aka my office) and a lot of people asking me for advice.
please don't get me wrong.
i. love. it.
i really do.
i am a total people person, and i love feeling needed.

i also love showing love and enjoy giving advice and praying for people and being there for people.
i don't want it to change, and i hope that whoever is reading this is not thinking...oh, i should probably stop texting her. or, maybe i should cancel that starbucks date with her because she's too busy.
i don't ever want to come across like i am too busy. and i am apologizing to any person who has ever not texted, called or wanted to get together just because it seems like i am too busy. it would break my heart if i knew anyone felt that way about me!

at the same time though...as much as i love to get together with people to refresh them (because that is my goal. to bring every conversation back to the fact that Jesus gives hope and without him, we would be hopeless!) i still need to be refreshed.
and this is why i have been gently reminded this week by a few different people in my family
the importance of getting my own refreshment from God alone.
God alone.
not my work.
not my friends.
not even my husband or my kids.
but God.
i don't know why this is so hard for me to get a hold of lately.

and to be painfully honest.
while i am doing everything so fast.
i am also reading my Bible fast.
i am praying fast.
and i am therefore weakening fast.
and it is not what i want.

it is not what i want.
i can hardly stop the tears right now as i am typing because

i want my life to be different.

and what will make me different is the amount of time i put in to developing and strengthening my relationship with Jesus.
and in my deepest heart of hearts, it is my desire.
but in my fleshly, sinful heart i am just doing everything fast. too fast.
i am writing this as a reminder to YOU to slow down and put your relationship with Jesus at a higher priority.
it will benefit your marriage, your relationships, your joyfulness, your peace...your everything!

i am also writing this as a way for myself to be held accountable. i want you to remind me to spend time with God, and not just talk about him.
i don't think adam would appreciate me going out with my girlfriends every night and telling them how great of a husband i have...if i was choosing to never spend a minute with HIM!

don't let the busyness and craziness of life weaken you, and cause you to cut out time with God.
let it push you to God. let it show you how much you need Him, and can't live without Him.

i love this verse in proverbs that says "whoever refreshes others will be refreshed"
how will i be refreshed?
by going to the spring. the living, powerful, life changing Word of God...
where i get direct refreshment.

what do you have to put down right now, so you can pick up God's Word?
do it. put it down.
and find your refreshment in HIM tonight.  ♥