oh i'm sorry...i can't hear you over my screaming voice

ok. so here we go.
several months ago, i started feeling this little feeling every once in a while that was like...
maybe you should get rid of your facebook (aka wastebook) account.
i brushed it off.

a little bit later, i started to "hear" the same thing.

i decided to take a little hiatus. i had adam change my password so i was not tempted to check it just out of habit!

it was actually quite refreshing.
refreshing to just think about my own life, and my circle of real. live. friends.

a few other times i have had the feeling (normally after a church service, or fbi class) that i should really take another break. maybe this time even longer than a week.

then i heard myself saying that i really couldn't get rid of it because of my business page.
i mean...that is how i advertise, and get clients and blah blah blah.
to which, my sweet friends would nod their heads in agreement with my very wise words of business knowledge.

notice...i am hearing my own loud voice. which, by the way, can drown out other more important voices. like...ya know. God's?

while all the voices i hear are not necessarily bad? it's just that when i am listening to so many of them, i can kind of get confused as to which ones are helpful and which ones just plain aren't needed!
they are starting to just fill up my mind with non-important things.

and so. i was feeling this push.
this gentle...well. maybe firm push.

it's called God's voice.
but i was so busy screaming over him, that i'm pretty sure he was just sighing and nodding his head.
i think i do that a lot.

if you know me at all, you know that i am fast.
with everything.
(well, everything except for getting it sometimes!)

i am a fast walker. a fast talker. i type fast, i clean fast, i am just fast.
i can check all 3 email accounts, my facebook, instagram and text messages in 3 minutes flat.

but for some reason, i have been slow at listening.
which is a horrible quality to have, by the way.

listen... i want to grow and i want to change.
honestly in my heart of hearts i do.
but when i am so busy checking every other person's lives.
i start to kind of miss out on what God might have for my life.

just today, a sweet friend of mine reminded me of this fact - God is the one bringing me my photography clients, not facebook! - it was like God was saying...
yo.
rachelle. dude.
if you're not going to sit still long enough to hear my voice.
would you listen to your friend's?
(which, by the way, is why it is so incredibly important to be closest friends with people who are on the same page as you are, and who are going to be encouraging you to be a better, more godly person! they will come in really handy!)

see..i have a feeling that something huge is about to happen.
i mean huge.
i can just sense it.
but i have just had this feeling that maybe God wants to do something big? but i am getting in his way. like...he needs me to be still long enough to hear His voice, so he can work!

i pray this over my boys all the time - God. please help my boys to hear your Holy Spirit's voice louder than any other voice that they are going to hear.

but today.
i am going to pray that same prayer for myself.
i want to clean out and de-clutter my mind long enough to give God the place He deserves.
first.
and so. i am unplugging from instagram and facebook until Easter.
it literally almost scares me to even see that in print.
how lame can you get?

i will continue to blog (which automatically comes up in my newsfeed)
but i will trust that if God wants me to get more business, it will come to me through my website.

i will stop using excuses to cover over God's loving voice that just wants me to grow and be more like Him.
i would love to get an inbox filled with emails so i feel like i can still connect with people -haha! (since that was one of my lame excuses to not cut facebook out...i do love to email teens from town, and other people as well!)

so here we go! i can't wait to see what God is going to do!
i am so thankful for a loving, patient God who deals with fast talkers and slow learners!