Good Grief

Grief.

It is a crazy thing.

Just when you think you are fine. Just standing at the kitchen sink.

Or eating a peanut butter and fluff sandwich.

Or driving... all of a sudden out of nowhere.

Bam.

Tears. Emotions.

It's really an out-of-control feeling. A feeling I don't particularly enjoy.

I like to be in control of things.

I like to have things handled.

Grief does not really allow for that.

It forces you to stop. To have to be alone.

I am thankful that God knows what I can handle.

He plans everything out way before I have even thought about what I might need.

When my sister-in-law told me she was pregnant...many months ago...I certainly could not ever have known what the timing would look like.

Here's the thing.

I have been teaching a Sunday School class for ladies every week.

I really love it. I love teaching God's Word.

But this week? I literally don't think I could talk at all.

Not that I don't have things to say, and not that I am upset with God, or questioning or anything like that.

I just don't think emotionally I am able to.

It's funny how God planned in advance that the only time we would be able to go to NY to see Adam's brother and family was this weekend.

We literally almost never miss our church services.

But we really wanted to meet our new nephew and we try and make the trip out every year and visit. We have a great relationship and we love spending time together.

So here I am.

At the most emotionally trying time that I have been in for quite a while, and God is giving me the opportunity to get away and go to a different church.

A church were I can just go and not have to give.

Where I can receive and not have to serve.

Where I can listen and not have to talk.

Where I can worship and not have to explain everything that just happened.

I don't mean that to sound selfish. I love giving to the people at my church.

I love teaching, and I love serving.

But God knows what I need.

He just knows.

I know that God does this many times.

Many times I am so busy running around that I don't think I even see it.

You may remember my post in which I got very real.

God allowed me to go through some difficult relationship issues,

and long before that even started he gave me this group of women that I didn't even realize I would need so much.

This group of Godly, loving women who would help to fill the void I didn't even know I was going to have.

And these women have been strong with me through this as well.

Texting verses, emailing prayers, offering to come and even drive 3 hours just to give me a hug, weeping with me.

It's just like God to do this.

He is so real and so personal.

See...I didn't know when I would need it, but God did.

So this weekend, I am going to be in NY with my husband and my boys.

I am going to enjoy nephew snuggles and long talks with my sister-in-law and brother-in-law about hopefully...nothing. Ha.

I am going to be thankful that my friends at home will take care of our Houdini hamster, and make sure our birds don't get too comfortable in the house.

(Yes, I called them our birds. Whatever.)

On a side note, and since I don't want to bore you with a post with no picture...

we got to enjoy a quick visit with my sister and her family before we came to NY -

Don't they have a beautiful family?!

Happy Friday everyone.