is it wrong?

i remember when i first had aj that everyone told me i held him way too much.

i remember that at his very first cry, i wanted to pick him up, and make sure that he knew mommy was there.

i remember rocking him to sleep every single night of his life for the first year.

i also remember him sleeping in bed with us on so many nights...which of course goes totally against what "they" say should be done.

with riley, i wasn't quite as extreme.

although i do remember many nights of him sleeping in our bed.

my question is, is it wrong?

is it wrong that i did that?

sometimes now, when i put the kids to bed, riley (sometimes aj, but usually ry) will get up and need to see me.
it's always for something different.
sometimes it's because he needs a drink.

sometimes it's because he can't stop thinking of something scary.

sometimes it's because he just can't get to sleep.

a lot of times, after he tells me the "problem" i'll ask him what he wants me to do for him
usually, he will say..."will you pray for me?"

i always say yes.

with aj it is usually that he just can't get comfortable. he likes me to cover him up.

sometimes he will say that he's scared about something. but he normally falls asleep really fast.

both of my boys will ask me to snuggle with them...."just for a little bit" they will say.

you could look at me and say...really, now.
when you put your kids to bed, they should stay in bed.
and you're right.
there are times when we say they have to go to bed, and they can not get up for anything.

but i have the same question here. is it wrong that they get up?

i was just reading in james today, and it was talking about our life. how we can say...tomorrow we will do this or that? but our life is like a vapor. we have no control over how long we have!
can i guarantee that i will be able to snuggle, or pray with my boys in the morning?

absolutely not!

can i guarantee that i will have tomorrow night to cover aj up just right?

not at all.

i woke up this morning with this thought.
why did God allow me to have another day on earth? what does He want from me today?
i know it's to bring glory to him in some way.
i will do everything i can to find out what it is.
i hope that i am so in tune with HIM that i know EXACTLY why i am here today!

so, while "they" may think it's wrong to hold your baby every waking and sleeping hour.
while "they" may think that it's not healthy to go and respond to your child every single time they get out of bed.
"I" think that i will take the chance while i have it.
"I" think that i will enjoy an extra long hug from my little boys, one more chance to pray with them about a scary thought they are having, and i will lay down next to them and rub their heads.

i'm glad that i held aj as much as i did. i loved it, and to be honest, he doesn't remember one second of it!
i'm glad that i ran to him every time he cried. i enjoyed it.
i loved waking up to big blue eyes staring back at me, and a little tiny hand on my face. in fact, i miss it now!

i don't think the boys remember one of those nights either! and they are none the worse for it.

i will choose to be a mom that makes time for my kids, even if someone else might think that it's a bit extreme,
i am different.
i know that.
i am ok with it.

i will choose to bring glory to God today in any way that i can.
that is my purpose.
everyone who is called by my name, 
   whom I created for my glory, 
   whom I formed and made Isaiah 43:7

i KNOW that is right!