Brendan and and Jenna ~A Bedford Village Inn Wedding~

It seems like just yesterday I was sleeping across the tent from Jenna in the Dominican Republic, frantically trying to get her attention. I had seen a man walk by with a machine gun and wasn't sure if that was normal!! (which it apparently was, by the way!) 

I have known Jenna for several years, and have had the privilege of getting to know her through youth group, her babysitting my boys, a missions trip and coffee dates. (and am very close friends with her parents) 

She is kind of quiet, but when she smiles, she lights up the room. 

I remember meeting Brendan and seeing them together. I loved watching how comfortable they were with each other, and how happy they made each other!
It was no surprise when I got a text saying that they were engaged...and I couldn't have been more happy for them! 

Their wedding day was absolutely and completely perfect. 

While it was a little chilly outside, the sun was shining and it was warm and cozy inside.
The day was amazing...right down to the last little detail.

I was thrilled to be part of the day and had an amazing time celebrating with them! 

Brendan and Jenna, thank you for allowing me to be part of your special day! 

Here are a *few* of my favorites! Enjoy!

Venue | Bedford Village Inn

Coordinator | Bree Warren

Hair | Salon 27

Entertainment | Nate Haywood

Cake | Jacques Pastries

Flowers | Royal Bouquet

the reason i spend so much time with 12-year-olds

when i was about 12, a family started coming to my church. mike and liz were their names.
they started working with our youth group and they. were. the. stuff. 
i mean for real. they rocked my world. 
they were in their early 30's and they treated me like i was totally important and like i really mattered. 
in real life i could have argued that liz considered me one of her best friends. 
that is just the way they made me feel.
i would ride my bike to their house, spend the afternoon. eat dinner with them, and play games. 
i loved every second i was with them.
they left our church after only a couple of years, but in that short time they had left a mark. a big one. 

fast forward about 15 years. i was married and had 2 boys. 
mike and liz had moved to Colorado and i heard they were coming to nh for a visit. 
they never contacted me so I could get the chance to see them again. i remember the night I heard they had gone back home. i laid in bed and cried like a little girl. honestly! i cried my eyes out. 
i remember thinking...what is my problem?! i am a grown woman with a family of my own! why should this affect me so much?! 
but it did. and I couldn't explain it, and i didn't want to share it with anyone. but it just did... this was the impact they had made on me. 
i don't share the story to sound bitter. i'm not bitter about it, 
i only share it to show how much of an impact two people can have on the life of one 12-year-old. 

See...i'm sure they were not thinking...i bet rachelle is crying right now since we didn't get together! 
i don't know that they actually fully understood what they did for me. 

they validated me at a crucial time in my life. 
they made me feel important.
they took the time to just share their life with me.

so here i am today.
monday at 2:30 rolls around, and i am totally giddy with excitement about who is about to walk in the door at 
The Porch. 
ya know why?
because you just never ever know how much your life can impact and influence others.

so maybe grant's life isn't going to be better 10 years from now because i play ping pong with him after school
maybe mercedes isn't going to accomplish great things in life because i am playing foosball with her.
and maybe matt, luke, clinton, aissa, nghia, and austin aren't going to go to change the world because i am asking them how their day was, or getting them another snack and drink.
but then...maybe it is.
see - you don't know.
and maybe you never will know!

i don't know if mike and liz know how much i looked up to them.
how much they affected me
and how thankful i am that they were a part of my life in middle school.

but i do know that i am going to take the time to invest in the lives of these kids who are going through so much right now. 
i am going to validate them, encourage them, build them up and pray for them.

so in case you were wondering why i spend so much time with 12-year-olds?
this should pretty much sum it up.

life lessons with legos

sometimes you just need to take a break from learning your multiplication tables and history timeline because as important as it is to know those things... they won't really matter much if you can't figure out how to have self control and how to get along with people!

so today. we took a little diversion from technical "school" and learned a simple life lesson.

(i got some help with my favorite parenting books plants grown up and for instruction in righteousness)

legos is always a good way to make things a little more fun, and helps to picture things that the Bible is teaching us.

we did a study on the causes of contention and strife. 

we also read about people in the Bible who made good choices with this, and also bad choices - and what the outcome was. 

we read about how only by pride comes contention. how a soft answer turns away wrath, and how only a fool will show his anger and annoyance at once.

then we read in Mark 3:25 if a house is divided against itself, that house will not be able to stand. 

so we built a house. 

then we divided it by taking the top off, demonstrating a family fighting against each other. 

then we watched it fall! 

might not seem like that big of a demonstration. but i want my boys to learn that they are choosing to let our family fall apart by arguments that aren't even important. 

don't worry. i get this. it's not just them!
i am doing the exact same thing myself if i choose to be irritated with my husband, or if i choose to get annoyed with my boys.
when i see it as tearing my home apart? kind of makes the fact that there are dirty socks on the floor and not in the hamper...not such a big deal anymore.

so for today at least. we are working on being slow to speak, quick to listen, slow to become angry.
and we are thinking a little bit more about what we choose to argue about.
 see? you can pretty much learn to teach with anything!

 next week's lesson will hopefully be something about chocolate :)

please provoke me

i came across a verse in my Bible reading the other day.
it wasn't like i haven't read the verse before. i had.
but it just kind of hit me differently this particular day.

"and let us consider one another to provoke unto love and good works"

normally, when i think of the word provoke, i think of one of my boys in the back seat of the car.
come on. you know you've been in a similar situation.
one of them is provoking the other.
and it ain't to love and good works!
it's to irritation and dirty looks! haha!

so maybe that's why it stood out to me. i don't normally think of provoke in a positive way.
but it does not only have to be negative!
i liked a couple other versions that put it like this..
let us think of ways to motivate each other...let us continue to consider how to motivate...let us consider how we may spur one another on.

if you read the verse in context, you see that the following sentence talks about not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, but encouraging each other!

what i took from it was this. the next time i am in a conversation with someone.
i should be thinking in my head...how can i provoke her?
how can i get from what we are talking about here, to motivate her to be a better person there?
can you even imagine what our conversations would start becoming if we took that seriously??

how many conversations have you had lately where people are just "venting" just "getting something off their chest" and you find yourself saying...
WHAT? she did WHAT to you? you did NOT deserve that! (or something similar)

when we have that response, we are not motivating our friends to be positive. we aren't spurring them on to become more encouraging! we are actually doing the opposite! we are dragging them into a pit.

i have recently had some conversations with people who have been awesome provokers.
and i am so thankful!
i want you to provoke me!
my bad attitude that i carry around with me? ya. it actually doesn't even feel good! i don't want to be negative. i don't want to become bitter.
and i need you to provoke me!
i need to provoke you.
we need to provoke each other.

come on!
be positive.
be thankful for what you have.
be content.
be joyful.
obey God's commands.
it's the cool thing to do...
everybody's doing it! :)

let's start provoking!

~newborn lifestyle photography~

i was so honored to have the opportunity to capture a day in the life of this sweet family. it is the first baby in the family, and the first grandchild in the family!

i loved watching the way sarah and peter interacted with each other, and the way they looked so comfortable with their new little bundle.

their home was peaceful and relaxing, and it was totally obvious they were smitten. totally and completely madly in love with their new baby.

~Seacoast Family Photographer~ Christmas Mini Sessions

Just wanted to share a few of my favorites from my mini session day a few weeks ago! 

I had some super fun and energetic little families and an all around great day!

any excuse

i am always looking for an excuse to go to boston. so i thought that since it was supposed to be a beautiful, bright and sunny day... we would make it a field trip day! we are only about an hour away, so it makes for a pretty easy day trip.

ruthie came with us, and we had a great day! it was beautifully decorated and made you feel all festive and happy just walking around looking at the lights and decorations!

 ruthie had never been to fanuel hall before, so we decided to go there for lunch. aj loves getting his clam chowda in a bread bowl...and riley? ya...just likes sticking to chicken fingers and fries pretty much any chance he can get!

the boys had never climbed bunker hill monument and they were super excited for the challenge! 294 steps!  wow. i'm not gonna lie. my legs were on fire. but it was beautiful at the top!

history for the day? check.

  it was a perfect day, and we are planning to go again soon.
 next time we are taking the principal with us!

why small white lights affect my feelings

seriously. why is it, that when i walk into the living room, and see the little white lights on the christmas tree 

- i start to feel peaceful. content. happy.

say what? they are lights! and not even colors! just plain, old, white lights. 

come on. admit it. you feel the same way, right? 

i think it is so strange the way different things impact us. and even though it might seem totally crazy. seeing lights, ornaments and a tree really does affect my mood. 

in case you were thinking i was now going to delve into the actual reason behind lights and how they affect our neurological system, which in turn affects our feelings. 

i'm not. sorry for the let down. i just think it's funny. 

and i am thankful for the silly little things that can make me feel happy. 

it takes away from the other things that can make me feel sad. 

so tonight, i plan to sit in front of the tree. with my family. and a cup of coffee. 

and just. feel. happy.

the view from the eyes of a pastor's kid

sometimes i start writing, and then just put the whole entire post away for a rainy day.
i started writing this about 8 months ago, and am just now picking it up.
so...here we go again.

i grew up as a pastor's kid {insert your typical stereo-types and jokes here}
would you believe, that at age 35 i still get introduced sometimes as "the pastors' daughter"?
crazy, right? i mean, ya know...it is the first question i ask all my friends! 
so...what does your dad do for a living? 
right.

anyways.
i was thinking about all the stereo-types that come along with the title, and started wondering how they came to be. and now, since my husband is full time at our church i also get the title "pastor's wife" which comes with its own separate jokes and pre-conceived notions.

my goal with this post is to enlighten those of you who are not a pastor's kid, or pastor's wife.
it is also to encourage those friends of mine who read my blog and are a pastor's wife or a pk.

my dad started a church over 30 years ago. so i have owned the title "pastor's kid", "pk" for as long as i can remember. 
when you grow up as a pastor's kid, things are pretty interesting.
*you  know a lot of information about a lot of people
*a lot of times, you have very little money
*you watch your parents get a lot of expectations piled on them
*you realize that people are watching you all the time.

-because of the fact that when people are in trouble, they come to a pastor... there were many times that i would know about marriage problems, financial issues and many other difficulties with many people from my church.
it was then my responsibility to keep quiet about all of them.

-we never had a lot of money. we grew up in a trailer, and my dad had to work a paper route for years just to pay the bills. (keep in mind, i honestly never remember either one of my parents complaining about our living situation.)

-my dad was expected to be on call 24 and 7. i remember one time he got a call at 2:00am because a lady had lost her cat and wanted my dad to come and rescue it from a tree. 
he went.
he was expected to be at the hospital if there was a church member, or family of a church member, friend of a church member...etc. who was sick. our door was always expected to be open, and people were free to stop in any time they chose.

-my parents marriage was watched closely, their parenting, their financial decisions, their leisure activity...all of it. it was being watched constantly with very high expectations.

through all of this, my dad did not...and does not complain. he has felt the call of God on his life, and he is the most merciful, gracious person that i know. honestly. 

here is why i think that many pastor's kids go off the deep end.
they see all of this. 
they see all of the time, the work, the effort that goes into being a pastor.
and the sad part is...they see the meanest side of people.
most of the time, it is by people claiming the name of Jesus! it can just blow your mind the things that people can say and do. if that is allowed to stay in your mind, and you dwell on it, and don't bring it before God and leave it there? it can destroy you!

i can not even tell you how many times my dad has gotten his character torn to shreds over the years. 
usually by the people that he put the most effort into.
the people who he opened his heart, his home, his wallet to.
the ones he called friends.
then they would stab him in the back. 
or leave the church and never even care if they spoke to him again. 
or bash him to his face. 
so here's what happens. as a kid (or as a wife) watching her daddy (or husband) get treated like this is so disconcerting. you can start to feel like you just can't trust anyone. you can start to feel like...is it really worth it? pleasing God and serving people with your life?
as it is...a lot of people don't even want to be friends with you at all if you hold this title. and that is a fact.
but when you grow up like that and and don't know what to do with it all? i can see why they go nuts.

i am very blessed.
my dad has a very godly, supportive and loving wife.
my dad never ever put the ministry before his family. (although it is so hard not to!)
my dad knew that God wanted him to give his life to serve his community.
and the most important part...my dad has a personal, growing relationship with a God who loves him and wants what is best for him.

so for those of you who have had your own ideas of pastor's kids or pastor's wives.
look at it a little bit differently for a minute.
understand the pressure, the unrealistic expectations, the stress and the pain that goes along with it. understand that your pastor has feelings. that he is under attack. and that his wife and kids have real needs just like you do.
and maybe write an encouraging note to your pastor, his wife or even their kids!
maybe stop spreading gossip about him or his family.
maybe make sure you are totally in the Spirit before you even think of putting down his character!
(*and especially don't talk to him about some issue right before or after he preaches! i can not even count how many times this happens!)
maybe pray for him and his family a little bit harder.
and the next time you are tempted to judge, or criticize...
try looking at the view from the eyes of a pastor's kid. a kid who is still developing his view of the world. of people and of God. 
and from the eyes of a pastor's wife. who just longs to have a friend. just one.friend. who cares about them. who wants to get together for coffee...not because they need counsel, but because they actually care about her!

and for those sweet friends of mine who are right in the thick of it.
remember this.
God called you here.
remember Galations 1:10 that says "obviously, i am not trying to win the approval of people, but of God."
your goal is not to please people. it is to please God. that is all.
of course, you do sometimes please people. there are people who are trustworthy. there are people who want to be your friends and don't look at you differently because of your "title"
don't let yourself stop trusting everyone. it is so easy to be there. and stay there. and it is so easy to doubt that you will ever have a true friend. it is easy to second guess every conversation you see going on after church! 
BUT - don't let yourself stay there! take your thoughts captive and only think of things that are true.

and finally.
don't let some mean people distract you from doing what God has called you to do.
Therefore, my dear brothers, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain.

stay strong. fight the fight. and remember that God will reward you. 
nothing else matters.

and *always* feel free to contact me if you are in the middle of something tough and need prayer.