focus

it is so easy to lose my focus.
i know what my focus should be. i know that life is not about me, my problems, my needs and my feelings.
according to isaiah, i was created FOR GOD'S GLORY.
believe me, i know plenty of verses to remind me of what i need to be focusing my eyes on.
this is what came to me last night.

if i was a missionary in...Haiti, for example.
if i lived in a dirt floor, tiny little hut with no air conditioning.
if every morning i went over to a little table holding all my clothes and chose between the blue shirt or the red shirt.
if i put on the same pair of flip flops every day, and put my hair in a ponytail without blowdrying, or straightening it...

would there be any doubt in my mind what my purpose was? what my goal for the day was? what i was doing in life? i think i would know. i would think... God called me to reach these people in haiti. maybe it's hard work, but this is where God wants me, and this is what i will joyfully do.

here's what i do instead.
i AM a missionary in my little town of epping (because we are ALL to be witnesses if we are believers)
i live in a small apartment with air conditioning.
every morning i go over to my closet that is filled with probably 50 shirts to choose from.
i choose between the flip flops that i own in every color, and blow dry and straighten my hair.

then there are times that i wonder what my purpose is? what am i doing in life? what is my goal for today?
there are times i drive by a big, beautiful house and feel a a feeling of "ugh...why can't i have one of those?" there are days that i might just be in the mood to go and shop and by something for myself for no reason at all.

here's my point. why should these two situations be any different? what is my purpose and where should my focus be? i am not going to allow the fact that i live in america, change my mindset.
people need Jesus. they are lost without him. they have no hope without him! people are just as hopeless in america as they are in haiti.
and i am more worried about if i look skinny enough in these jeans before i go to my boys soccer games then if i am prayed up enough, and filled with the spirit enough to have boldness to be a witness!
should this be?? GOD FORBID!!!

maybe i am alone on this one, but i really think that because everything and everyone around me is telling me that i need to have a house, and that my kids need to have the best education, and that maybe my husband and i should go back to school and get a piece of paper that basically says "you have now graduated college. please continue doing exactly what you were doing before, and thank you for all your money" i am losing sight of what is important.
i do think it is nice when people can have a house, but i am not willing to go get a job and have my husband work another job so that we can pay for something that is not going to last.
i do think it's important for good education, and a college education, but i think that the money my husband and i are investing in the international AWANA clubs in many different countries, and the other missionaries we support is a little tiny bit of a better investment.

see, i don't WANT to listen to the world if you don't mind.
even christians, so many times, who are telling me their opinions only are not helping!!
i want to listen to Jesus. i want every single person i come in contact with to see something different about me.
i want them to know that life is great and all, but eternal life is better. and you can know that you have that!!

i want my focus to be... God called me to reach these people in epping. maybe it's hard work, but this is where God wants me, and i will joyfully serve Him!
it should be no different for me than any missionary anywhere.

imagine how we could turn this world upside-down if we all had the mindset of reaching every single person we came in contact with?!?! let's do it!