presence vs. reading

i have been feeling like there is a lot on my plate lately.
not in a complainy-kind-of-way (i know that's not a real word)
but just... my mind is constantly shifting gears from homeschool, to my school, to teenagers, to my kids, to supper, to marriage, to church stuff, to editing, to sports, and on and on it goes!


because of the busyness of life, i think that it is important to really stop and think about some things.


i always make sure that i have time with God.
i rarely miss a day.
i do not say that to be prideful at all, and if you don't believe me...
read on. 
i will prove it!


i am finding a problem with myself lately and here it is.
i am reading.
reading.
reading my Bible.
knowing that i have read my Bible for the day.
moving on.

does that sound like there's anything wrong with that?
i didn't think so, but there was something...
wrong.
i just couldn't put my finger on it.
but i was feeling like something was just not right.


i came to Psalm 16, which i love.
if you haven't read it in a while...
or read it ever..
take a second and read it.


here is part of it:

LORD, you have assigned me my portion and my cup;
   you have made my lot secure.
⁶ The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
   surely I have a delightful inheritance.

 ⁷ I will praise the LORD, who counsels me;
   even at night my heart instructs me.
⁸ I have set the LORD always before me.
   Because he is at my right hand,
   I will not be shaken.

 ⁹ Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices;
   my body also will rest secure,
¹⁰ because you will not abandon me to the grave,
   nor will you let your Holy One see decay.
¹¹ You have made known to me the path of life;
   you will fill me with joy in your presence, 
   with eternal pleasures at your right hand.


the King James version puts verse 11 -
in Thy presence is fullness of joy


and here is where i was seeing that difference between reading and being in the presence of God.


when i am reading my Bible, even if i am reading a lot of it,
just to read it.
maybe i even think i am doing it with the right motive...
BUT
am not making sure that i am humbled before a powerful and Holy God, and am literally coming into His presence.
where His Word is a light that brings out my sins, and that calls me to CHANGE


then it is not only pointless,
but leaves me joy-LESS (which, by the way, IS a word!)
and not having "fullness of joy!


joyless is described as cheerless, depressing, causing a feeling of sad gloom, unhappy.


joyful is described as full of, or producing joy, elated, full of high-spirited delight


joy is described as...get this. i love it. intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness, the expression of such a feeling, ecstatic happiness, pleasure, or satisfaction.


let me ask you something?
are you feeling like the first word, or the second word?


because if you are feeling like the first word, and not knowing why. 
especially if you feel like you are doing your "duties" by reading your Bible, going to church, blah blah blah...then i have good news for you...


you needa be in God's presence girlfriennnddd!! (or boyfriend :))


seriously!!


and if you're feeling like the first word and not knowing why...and are not reading your Bible, don't know the first thing about Bibles, and haven't been in church since last easter?
i have good news for you too!!


you can have a personal relationship with a very real God who loves you more than any person ever could, sent His Son to pay the penalty for your sins (come on...you know you've sinned, we ALL have!!) and wants to give you satisfaction and JOY!!


pretty amazing stuff.


and if you are feeling ecstatic and hyper and absolutely crazy filled with joy...
then SHOW IT TO ME!!!!


i am crazy. like for real. ha...just ask my boys.
i will dance like an idiot at a moments notice, make ridiculous faces to make people laugh and really am pretty much upbeat. 
i mean, i have my moments, but for the most part :)


so you being crazy just makes me more crazy! 
i love crazy people.
i have a few in my family :)


so don't just read today.
get into God's presence.
THAT, my friend, is where you will find ecstatic, pleasure and satisfaction.
:)