Intentional Living: Week Three

we are already at week three of six!
this week we talked about being an intentional wife.
as i started teaching the class, i realized that in my class were: 
some people who had never been married, 
some who had been divorced, 
and some who had been widowed. 
we have such a diverse group of women...
and i love it!
i love how we are all so different - yet so alike.
we are just girls that want to grow in our relationship with God.


and that's what i love about God.
he takes us exactly where we are at.
we don't have to get all cleaned up and perfect before he accepts us.
he accepts us just the way we are.


so with that, i reminded everyone that even if someone is not a wife... we are all counselors!
and this is where i wanted to focus. 
i wanted to challenge everyone to
*Be known for giving godly counsel!


i often find myself in the position of giving advice to someone who is in a situation that i have never been in before! i am sure that you have found yourself there as well.


so if you are reading this, and you are not married. maybe you can take something from this lesson that will help give counsel to someone who is!
and where do we get all of our wisdom?
i think you know by now!!


although the world is trying to convince us to do what our heart is telling us, God has something a little different to say about that!
i found a few words in God's Word that were used to describe our heart...
foolish
wicked
deceitful
stubborn


that sounds pretty much like my heart!
we certainly should not be trusting our hearts, and our feelings when giving advice to someone!
in Psalms 81, asaph is writing about the israelites and the way that they did not listen to God. it says
that God finally "gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: and they walked in their own counsels"
judges talks about how people did "what was right in their own eyes"


not where WE want to be!


in regards to our husbands:
i have a no tolerance policy for husband-bashing.
seriously.
the proverbs 31 woman was said to have the heart of her husband safely trusting in her.
people should just know that they are barking up the wrong tree if they think they're gonna get away with talking bad about their husband to me! 
and that should be the same with you!
just don't stand for it!


i had 2 points this week, and then focused on a passage in 1 Peter chapter 3.


I. The woman was created for the man
i found the wording of the verse in 1 corinthians 11:9 to be very interesting.
"For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; neither was man created for woman, but woman for man."


i expanded on this a little bit, but just take some time to think about it yourself.
are you helping your husband?
or are you making things harder for him?


II. Marriage is our only permanent relationship


i remember learning about this concept while i was taking classes to become a nouthetic counselor.


temporary - permanent - temporary


here's what it means.
our lives are made this way...
we are born into a family involving a relationship with our parents.
that relationship is meant to be temporary
we live with our parents, and then leave our parents.


we then get married
that relationship is meant to be permanent
this is the only relationship that lasts forever, and is not meant to be changed.


we then have children.
that relationship is meant to be temporary
we raise our children to have them leave us.


(obviously, you know that this does not mean we don't have any kind of relationship with the others in our lives, just not the kind that our marriage is.)


maybe you're thinking...duh!!
but think about it!
how much time do we spend focusing on relationships that are temporary?
do you still run to your mom FIRST whenever there is a problem that you can't figure out on your own?
what about when you are looking for affection?
do you seek that from your kids?
do you jump whenever your kids call?
do you jump whenever your husband requests something of you?
why? why do we naturally give more in the relationships that are temporary?
certainly something to think about!


the next part that i talked about, was actually from a previous post of mine.
it's funny, because i printed it out to use it in class, and i felt like i was cheating!
but i wrote it in the first place!
ha!
so this may be the second time you are reading this part!
1 peter 3:1-6 is a great passage that talks about the wife's responsibility to her husband.
i enjoyed reading it in the amplified version


...let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [^[a]that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and ^[b]that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]


*notice him
    -when he walks by you, even if you are doing something else, reach out and grab his hand for a second. to show you are noticing him


*prefer him
    -when you have the chance to go out with the girls, or to stay up by yourself watching tv, choose him! show him he's your first choice of someone to hang out with


*venerate him
    respect. respect. respect. this is a command, which means that it is an action, not a feeling. this means that it is a choice, and we are capable of doing it, even if we feel he hasn't earned it

*esteem him
     -talk about him behind his back. in a good way.
brag about the kind of husband you have, start esteeming him in your mind, and that is what will come out of your mouth!


*admire him exceedingly
     -one of the definitions of admire says "to look at with pleasure"
did you hear that? to LOOK at him with pleasure! your face can say a lot!
let him catch you staring at him. and when he asks you what you're thinking, tell him you were just thinking about what a great husband he is.


this one isn't in there, but 
*pray for him!i have been praying for adam to have joy, to hunger and thirst after righteousness. that he will be strengthened with the Holy Spirit's power, and many other verses that i come across.
when i am starting out my day praying for him, i am in a much better position to respect and honor him.


i hope that this has given you some food for thought on being an intentional wife.
while my primary goal is not to have a good marriage...it is to please God.
and when i am achieving my goal to please God, my marriage will be better as a result!