trusting God with my children

i am starting out this post with a disclaimer:

due to the incredibly small amount of sleep i have received in the last 2 days, and the excessive amount of caffeine consumed, this post may appear totally non-cohesive.

that being said.
i have spent the last 68 hours...err...i mean -wow. not even 24 hours..same thing.
in the hospital.
it started out with the guessing game that all parents play at some point and time.
you look at the symptoms, you try and NOT look at google, and you make a decision.
do i risk looking like a hypochondriac and take my child to the ER?
or do i risk my child's life and keep him at home.
we decided to risk what we would look like, and take aj to the ER.
we were so glad we did.
what was extra nice, was that i got an escort (*cough*pulled over*cough*) by the friendly state police!
perfect.
anyways, what started out as a minor stomach ache at 6:30pm, turned into appendicitis by midnight.
so we have spent what i honest to goodnessly thought had been at least 68 hours, but turns out has not even been 24 hours, in this hospital.
the hospital i was born in.
and the most incredibly friendly and amazing hospital ever.
for real.
from the receptionists, to the janitors, to the cafeteria workers, to the nurses, to the doctors, to the surgeons -
nothing but kindness and helpfulness. i can't say enough about it.
but i will. and that is enough :)
aj has been a trooper from the beginning.
just the sweetest little patient and the most adorable little man i have ever seen.
he went through an iv, x-rays, a cat scan and surgery.
and has done awesome.
as soon as i left my house, i grabbed his warm blanket (as he calls it), my ipad, and my Bible.
i was so thankful for all three.
the entire night he laid and i sat in a room, and we had the ipad playing worship music the whole time.
it was so comforting and peaceful.
i read aje some psalms as he was starting to get nervous about the surgery, and i prayed for him.
4 times. per his request.
i was incredibly overwhelmed by the texts and emails i received from people who were praying
and willing to do whatever to help.
my sister had just come into town, and it was so great to have her stay at the hospital, as well as my parents at different times, so i could go home and get extra clothes, and me and adam could do the things on our crazy life schedule.

at one point i looked at my sleeping little boy, and the most amazing thought came to me.
i love aj (both my boys) more than i could ever even express.
they are my babies, and they always will be.
but...
GOD loves aj (both my boys) even more than i do!
and HE is the one that aj belongs to!
i was so overwhelmed with emotion, and complete peace.
maybe it was chris tomlin in the background singing...
there's a peace i've come to know.
though my heart and flesh may fail.
there's an anchor for my soul.
i can say, it is well.
and the verse that literally opened up on my lap when i opened my Bible.

From the ends of the earth will i cry unto thee.
when my heart is overwhelmed:
lead me to the rock that is higher than i.


and that was it.
do i trust? do i trust God enough with my life?
with my son's life?
and the answer from the deepest part of my soul tonight is.
yes.
yes i do.