just some crazy food for thought...

i am aware that my way of thinking is different than some. 

some of the things you are about to read, may lead you to ask yourself...WHAT did she just say?

and you may also then think...yep. i thought she was psycho, but now i know. ha.

that being said..i just want to get you thinking.

you know, food for thought.

where along the way, did we start believing these "facts"?

you need to spend $100,000, spend 4 years of your life studying to receive an 8x10 piece of paper.

you need to borrow $250,000 to move into a wood structure.

here's the thing. 

i live my life with the Bible as my manual. like...for everything.

every. single. thing.

here's what i think some people do.

they say that they feel the same...that the Bible should be the manual.

but - what they actually do is this.

take their preconceived notions.
accept those as facts.
then fill in the gaps and all other areas with the Bible.

so..going back to my first "facts"

the Bible says that we should owe no man anything.
it also says that we have absolutely no guarantee of tomorrow.
that our lives are a vapor.

however...we then find a house that we like.
and proceed to tell a bank that we promise we will pay them
$1,566.00 (the average in NH) for the next 30 years of our life. (please refer to the point above, where i mentioned that we have no guarantee of tomorrow!!)

how can we do that?

every financial plan (including biblical ones) that i have seen starts out with the house sort of being...
assumed.
expected.
required.
the ending point.
satisfaction.

no questions asked.

so i am asking some questions.

i think that we need to receive all our financial advice from the Bible, so how do people skip over this?

where does it EVER talk about a mortgage in the Bible?
i just think it's odd that this isn't even a issue? i never even hear people debating whether or not mortgages are biblically acceptable! they just accept it!
i find it interesting to hear people say that a "owning" a house gives security.
security?

the thought that if my husband were to lose his job tomorrow, we would still have our promise to the bank that we are going to pay them every month.
that maybe i would have to leave my work at home with my children to find a job?
that actually makes me feel the opposite of secure.

please don't misread this and think that i am judging you if you own a home.
i'm totally not.
my only point would be to give you something to think about.

and also, that maybe if you are getting caught up in the idea that the end-all is owning a home...
you will reevaluate your thoughts and priorities.

maybe.
just maybe...

my house?

is big enough.

maybe.
just maybe.

my closets?

are full enough.

maybe.
just maybe.
my life?

is a little easier than i complain about it being.

maybe.
just maybe.

we have allowed america to determine what is normal.

what is expected.
and what our life is supposed to be.

i have no interest in starting a debate here, or trying to make anyone feel guilty...or angry.
even in talking with some friends about this, different things have come up.
you know, equity and a whole bunch of other "americanized" counter arguments.
i do not want to argue about it, and i am not saying that i am 100% against mortgages.
i know that sometimes it is actually cheaper to own than to rent (not in nh!!)
but i never want to get comfortable, and lazy in my way of thinking...on any issue!

i just know this.
i have been in more situations than i could even count where i was the one leaving a conversation feeling frustrated, and looked down upon because i don't own a home.
a lot of times, it has been by people who were not intending to make me feel that way.
and to be honest...sometimes - i think it was totally, intentionally mean.

either way, i just want to be careful, and i also want to warn people of the dangers of allowing your thinking to be determined by things that are just plain not true!
i admit that when we were about 2 weeks from closing on our dream house, and it fell through... i was devastated! i didn't know if i was upset that we weren't going to get it? or that i had felt maybe we would "fit in" with everyone else who had a home, and now we wouldn't.

whichever it was, i know this now...
i am thankful that it did fall through.
crazy to even type out loud! but i am so grateful for the financial freedom we have right now.
maybe we aren't the cool ones who have our own place. but i can't let other people's opinion of me change how i live, how i act and especially how i feel!
and neither should you!
don't fall into that trap!

to me...financial freedom is not working 3 jobs and extra shifts so that in 24 years, we can pay off the house and finally be debt free, and able to do what God wants me to do.

all this rambling to say.
have you thought things out that you do? - not just buying a home, but everything you do...
all the way to the core?
all the way to the root of the issue?
with nothing being the accepted to start with?
with the fact that we came into this world with NOTHING
and it is certain we can carry nothing out?!

start with nothing!
then take your Bible, and start making your standards.
your beliefs.
your decisions.

God's Word is the only thing that never changes.

aj's birthday celebration part 1

while we had so gotten used to having insta-party with all of our family living near by, things have changed.

my older sister, her husband their 7 kids are in virginia,
my brother, his wife and their little girl are in pennsylvania,
my younger sister, her husband and their little boy are in new jersey,
adam's younger sister, her husband and their 3 kids are in iowa,
his younger brother, his wife and their 2 boys are in new york,
his 2 youngest sisters and his parents are in florida.

so. that party-feel is now limited to our family of 4 and my parents.
now, don't get me wrong.
we know how to party!! haha!

but it was a real treat this year to have adam's brother and family for aj's actual birthday,
and my younger sister and family for the party.

after a pancake breakfast

we packed all four boys up and headed to the y for swimming!

adam and jimmy are the best to watch play in the water with the boys.
they are just like kids..seriously.

we hit up subway on the way home, and then opened presents.

so we finally had a birthday celebration with some cousins all up in here!
hopefully, by next year...some of them will be living here!

hey, a girl can hope can't she?

double digits

i can not believe that my baby boy just turned 10 years old!
i know that people always say how time flies with your kids, but seriously..
how is he 10?

i can remember so so clearly the very first night i was home from the hospital.

i literally stayed up the whole entire night.

i remember aj crying and crying, and i was just singing 'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
over and over and over.

then when he finally fell asleep, i just didn't want to put him down!
i don't think i did put him down again for about a year! ha!

oh..and i don't regret if for one single second.
somedays, when my baby is looking almost directly into my eyes, i admit that i think -
i wish i could just rock him to sleep!

this last picture pretty much describes the first year (at least) of my life.
i rocked him to sleep every nap and every night.

it's so hard to imagine life without aj in it.

he is so amazing in so many ways.
as i think about these last 10 years, i am just absolutely beyond proud of him.

i have watched him grow from a strong-willed toddler to a self-controlled boy.
(contrary to people's opinions that i am just so "lucky" to have had children that were born without a strong will!)

i have watched him go from playing soccer with his pacifier in his mouth, to playing for an elite soccer team

i have watched him go from being shy about meeting someone new, to welcoming new teens at the porch and offering to play a game of pool with them.

i could write all day long about the qualities that i admire about my son.

he is obedient, he is quiet around people he doesn't know well, he takes life seriously, he is a crazy dancer, he is a natural born athlete, he is great at playing the piano, he is very sensitive, he falls asleep really fast at night, he is hard on himself, he loves fruits and vegetables, he loves his family, he is a great role model to his younger brother, he prays for kids from town, he loves to laugh, he knows more about sports than most adults, he is a lot like his daddy, he loves swimming, he doesn't love to run, he is not a morning person, he has hundreds of Bible verses memorized, he still likes me to tuck him in at night.

this little boy, who changed my world entirely...

has grown into a young man that makes me proud every day.

this morning, i watched him get his Bible and notebook, go outside and read a chapter in proverbs.

i didn't tell him to, he just did it.

this is what makes me proud.

the fact that he is growing in his relationship with God on his own.

it's not mine, it's not adam's...it's his.

because the fact of the matter is -

teaching your kids a bunch of rules is fine and dandy,
but when you aren't around...are they still going to obey them?

teaching your kids that there is a real God...

that loves them more than i ever could.

HE knows what's best for them, and HE is always watching them.

when they get that unconditional love...

that unconditional acceptance...

then, they want to obey when you're around and when you're not.

because ultimately they are doing it for God, not for ME!

and then it makes my job a whole lot easier!


so happy happy birthday to my little boy.

i can not wait to see all the plans that God has in store for your life!
i love you more than words could ever say,

and i am proud to take on the title of "aj's mom"

backtracking

2 weekends ago, i got an email from my sister-in-law asking what i was doing tuesday.
now, that may not sound like an unusual question to most...

but my sister-in-law lives 7 hours away, and has 2 little boys!!

we were so so excited when they decided to make the trip to nh to visit us!
aren't they the cutest little family?

adam and his brother get along great, and i am so lucky to have gotten such a great built-right-into-the-family-friend in bethany!
we both have 2 little boys, love photography, and love eating. - ha. and we both have a desire to raise our children to be godly young men!
she is great, and i just love her to death. we always have a great time when we are together.
we always say that even if our husbands weren't brothers, we would still be friends.
well...except that i probably never would have met her since she lives in ny.
but you get the point.

the weather wasn't the greatest, but we managed to figure out a way to do a bunch of indoor fun activities!

i don't remember how the tradition all began, but every time our families see each other, we have to go bowling.

we have this little bowling alley about 15 minutes away that is totally old-school

we just love it.
the boys always have a great time

i have more pictures from the next day, but since it was also aj's birthday...i am going to make it another post.

so thankful for the family that God has blessed me with!

advocacy

in one sense, i feel like i have so many thoughts inside my head, that at any moment they will just all come flooding out...in perfect, outlined, and understandable form. 
in another sense. i feel like i have so many thoughts inside my head, that at any moment i will just explode, because i can't even figure out a way to express or even understand all of them.


i haven't blogged in forever.
mostly, because we had adam's brother and family come last monday and stay until thursday morning. 
thursday night, my sister and her family came and left yesterday afternoon.
i thought it would be terribly rude to be sitting on my computer while they were here.


it was actually hard to even justify going to bed at all, because i wanted to just soak up every minute possible with them. 
it is so hard to have such great family, but have them live far away.


another reason that i haven't is because i want to post pictures and there is something up with my computer, making it so slow that the very thought of opening photoshop makes me crazy.


so those are my excuses.


i thought i would at least write and say a couple things.


one was a thought that came to me about advocacy. 


i was sitting a table with 2 of my close friends last night, and a girls name came up...
to which we all started saying...i just love her! 


she is a girl from our young adult group that i'm pretty sure is closely related to the sunshine itself.
she is so full of joy and happiness that she literally glows.


what that made me think of was...what do people say around their tables when MY name comes up?
and if someone were to start saying...oh i just hate her...would i have an advocate there?


the definition of advocate is "a person who pleads for or in behalf of another; intercessor"


wouldn't it be nice if we just all had those around?


someone to stand up for us, and plead and argue for us when people started putting us down?


then i started thinking about the passages in scripture where it tells us that if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father...which is Jesus.


amazing to even think about.


i know that satan is an accuser of christians.
it blows me away to think that satan would start accusing me of things...


which would not be hard to find


and i have an advocate right there...saying...


oh.. riiiight. 


Rachelle. 


yep. i saw her attitude right then too, and YES i saw that look on her face.


wow...she really is awful.


but. um..ya know what? everything she has ever done? and everything she will ever DO?
ya.
that's covered under the blood. 
you know...when i died on the cross for her?
ya.
you got nothing.


alright...maybe Jesus doesn't actually talk in the tone of voice i just typed.


but you get my point.


i do fall.


i do mess up.


read the book of Romans. 


the great apostle Paul had the same struggle...


BUTTTT...


we have an advocate.


i don't have to live under my own, or anyone else's condemnation.


i am so thankful that Jesus himself, is MY advocate


amazing.


i am so grateful...and humbled. 



i also hope that i live life being other people's advocate.


looking at the other side of the story for someone who is not there to defend themself.


wouldn't that be a great thing to be known for?


so those are my thoughts for the night.


and after re-reading this, i'm pretty sure it didn't come out in perfect, outlined, understandable form, but hopefully it made some sense!

science project of the day

we had a little fun with science today

i love easy experiments!

you start with this

and a couple of these

(you can use as many of these as you have on hand)

then you do this

and here is the result!

then you spend 30 minutes uploading pictures for your blog.

then you pat yourself on the back,

and list this in your portfolio under "science"

happy homeschooling!

our eyes wait

i have been reading my Bible a lot today.
just needed it more than usual.


i love to just go through the Psalms and see what i have highlighted and underlined over the years. 
that's why i am so attached to MY Bible. 


the one that i have had for 17 years. 


the one that has caught many tears.


it is very highlighted, and very worn.


and so incredibly special to me.


i found this verse in chapter 123 that i just loved.


our eyes wait upon the Lord our God, until that He have mercy upon us. Have mercy upon us O Lord, have mercy upon us!


what stood out to me was the "eyes wait"


i have been reading a lot about waiting. the song that i just wrote was basically stressing that point - wait patiently, quietly, confidently.


but my eyes wait?


what does that mean?


i love word pictures.


i actually not only love them, but i think i need them.


i need to have things spelled out for me, and shown to me so i know exactly what to do.


i pictured this...


if my son was getting hurt by a bully who was bigger than him, and my boys daddy was standing right there...


it would be like if he just looked at his dad with those big blue eyes and waited for him to take care of the bully.


confidently.


not wondering if dad would protect him, just waiting until.


the verse says 


our eyes wait upon the Lord our God, UNTIL he has mercy upon us.


it does not say 


in case he has mercy on us


it says until.


that is the confidence.


and that is where i am tonight.


i am just looking up (actually literally at times)


and waiting on God to just have mercy on me!


waiting on God to give me peace like he promises


to give me grace


to give me compassion


to give me patience


to give me satisfaction


and to give me joy.




because see...


it's not a matter of if he will show me mercy


it is simply a matter of when he will show me mercy.


and i am confident that my God is faithful.


just as confident as a little boy waiting for his daddy to take care of the bully.


my Father is going to take care of everything in my life!


He promises.


and He will never. 


ever.


ever 


break His promise.


so my eyes right now?


are waiting.


waiting on the Lord my God UNTIL he has mercy on me.

nothin but...

BLUE SKIES!

i love living in nh...

most of the time.

i do love having four seasons,

i love the cool, crisp weather in the fall

and i do love having snow for christmas.

i love that my boys can go sledding,

and also swim in the ocean.

however...by march?

i'm done with the cold.

so this week's beautiful weather has been so amazing and very welcome by me!


yesterday was about 70 degrees, and absolute perfection.

the boys played outside forever

and i got to set the iso on my camera all the way to down 100!

in other words...natural light is my favorite! :)

happy spring everyone!

He who holds the world

this is a song that i wrote this week. i wrote it after i found out about Bryce being in the car accident. the quality isn't great, but you get the idea.

He Who Holds the World

1. He who holds the world in place

But still catches all my tears

The creator of this world

He's the God who longs to calm my fears

chorus

I will trust my God

Quietness and confidence

Will be my strength

In rest I will be saved

So I will rest in you

And wait upon you all my days

You are gracious

You are loving

And you will hear my cry

So I will trust

2. He who holds the world in place

But still sees this trembling child

The maker of my soul

Is my Father and for me He died

Bridge

Even in the valley

When the darkness closes in

You rise to show compassion 

I can feel you holding me

a little bit of this...

and a little bit of that...

this is a little something that aj and ry made for me...totally made my morning :)

adam and ry were gone yesterday afternoon, so me and aj had a little time together..

we had a little snack

and played a little yahtzee

i love spending alone time with each of my boys. they are so much fun to be with!

then i had to share a couple of my favorites from our time with mel, chad and callen

oh ya...
one cute one of micah yawning :)

that is my miscellaneous post for today.
hope you enjoyed it.

virginia part 2

today has still been a very emotional day for me.
there are no new updates on bryce, and it's still hard to just be...here!
praying and waiting.
i was driving home tonight, and i noticed how beautiful the clouds were.

beautiful, and...still.

they were just there.

it reminded me of something.

that's what i need to be.

still.

not running around, worrying...fretting...stressing.

just resting.

this has not caught my powerful, loving God off-gaurd.

he who holds the world in place

he is in control

and i know i can trust him.

thank you so so much to those of you who have emailed, texted or posted comments telling me you are praying. it really means more than i could say.

don't stop praying!



i wanted to put more pictures of our time in virginia.

we got to spend 2 nights with adam's aunt and uncle and their family.
me and jackie have always gotten along really well..we just click
we get each other.

she is very special to me and i am thankful to have her in my life.
i have many great memories from when i was in college and would get to spend time with her..
she rocks. :)

aj and riley picked right up where they had left off 2 years ago with jeremiah and lilly

it was really fun to watch them play together!

we also got to see adam's grandparents, who for some reason i did not get any pictures of!
what is wrong with me??

i am convinced that part of the reason me and adam are so blessed is a direct result of their faithfulness to God.

jacob was kind enough to let us use his bedroom (although, i heard he had no choice in the matter!)
and abbey served us dinner when we first got there.
uncle darryl kept us up till past midnight having deep discussions about missions :)


we loved getting to spend time with the almost 2-year-old princess of the house, bella

and then, before we really had time to even blink, it was over.
time to hit the road again.

we had an awesome time, and really hope that we can see them again really soon!

please pray...

i am asking all my friends to please take time right now to stop what you are doing and just pray.

a very good friend of mine, who may as well be family, was in a very serious car accident sunday night.

i hate even seeing the letters form the words as i type that.

i am a mess.

i have known him since i was little, and he is really close to my family.

he is so so special to me.

i just talked to him saturday,

he lives in florida, and our plan was to spend a few days with him in just a few short weeks.

he is in critical condition right now.

would you pray please? pray that he would be totally healed?

i believe in prayer

and i believe that there is amazing power in it.

thank you so much.