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Friday, October 24, 2008

rachelle's rambling...


i am in the mood to ramble, so i am just warning you before you even get started reading this!
i have a really bad memory, but one thing that i can remember very clearly, is when i was about 13 years old i was sitting on the couch in our little trailer with my mom. i was crying and she was praying that God would bring a friend into my life. for some reason, there was never any other girl my own age around! there was always someone a couple years older or a couple years younger. in my 13-year-old world, it was very hard for me, and i remember crying and praying about it many times. most of you know that i was homeschooled until the 8th grade. when i started going to a christian school my freshman year, it was not exactly what i had hoped for. i remember thinking...finally!! i will get to have friends my own age!! well, as with probably most christian (or any) school, there was something we like to call...cliques. lunch time was the worst, because everyone was talking about last year and all these things that had happened, and of course, i wasn't there! although there were a few girls who were friendly to me, i did not make any friends in highschool who were like "best friend" material. no offense to anyone, it just didn't work out that way for whatever reason. of course, i started dating my husband in the middle of my 10th grade year, so that made things a lot easier during school, but still, i just never really clicked with anyone, or fit in around there. i'm not bitter or anything, i am just making observations. i think there was 2 girls that i actually hung out with a little bit during high school outside of school (i was invited to one party in 4 years, and i'm pretty sure it was out of obligation!!) my senior year, me and one of my friends would just say to each other "all new" - we wanted to make all new friends, and just forget all the other people in our lives!! anyways, i started going to liberty university (the world's most exciting university - for real!!! it rocks!) and i loved it. i became really good friends with my 2 roommates, carrie and tracy - both of who i still keep in touch with 13 years later! it was really a totally different thing for me...actually having girlfriends to hang out with and who had a lot of the same goals in life as me. carrie and i are totally on the same page as far as our relationship with God and family. my second year i found myself in a room with 2 girls....who...how should i say this? they were the meanest girls i have ever met. and i have dealt with a lot of mean girls in my life, trust me. anyways, i really still have no idea why they hated me so much. they really didn't have many other friends, and they were so unbelievably hateful. during that time, God put these 2 girls sherrie, and cassie in my life. they lived a few doors down, and honestly - i don't know what i would have done without them. i basically lived in their room and after 1st semester, i had to go home because i didn't have enough money to pay tuition. when my parents came to help me get my stuff, we walked to my room, and ALLLL my stuff was piled up outside the door. it was unreal. i still don't know what i ever did, and i probably never will! anyways, all that part to say that sherrie is still a great friend, although she lives soo far away and i know God put her in my life as a gift. then there was my junior year. i had 3 new roommates. it was an interesting start (i have a good story about this girl, colleen, if anyone is ever interested :)) anyways, amanda (http://www.ryanamandaoliver.blogspot.com/) was so much fun and we had a lot of really great times together. in fact, if it wasn't for her, i wouldn't have been able to afford going back the 2nd semester!! and my lindsay. we became really close
2nd semester and are still best of friends. she lived with me for a while, and we have gone through so much together. after i got married, God brought another friend (http://www.boisverts.blogspot.com/) who really shares my passion for mothering and ministry! now, as i look back over where God has taken me...i am amazed at how many friends God has given me. i don't mean that in a boastful way, like i have so many friends. i just feel like God was just saying to me "rachelle, just be patient, be content where you are, make friends with who is around you" i also really feel like i learned how to be a friend to anyone of any age. i feel like that is a gift that God gave me. i now have really close friends who are a lot older than me, and a lot younger than me! i guess God showed me how to befriend anyone, does that make sense? i know that i am rambling but i just love where God has brought me. i think that has helped so much in ministry too, because me and adam are involved in so many different types of ministry that involve people of all ages, and i love where God has brought me. i didn't even mention my family, who are all my best friends. just last night we had some great friends over. jeff and natalya, and josh and ann, and it still felt weird! i just still feel like i am not used to having so many people around me that actually care about me!! i have had some friends in my past who have really really hurt me. (haven't we all??) and you know how that can make you feel??? like, i just can't trust anyone, and i just don't need anyone and blah blah blah...anyways. sorry to go on and on. but i just feel really really grateful right now. grateful that God got me through hurt, disappointment, and being discontent. i love the church family God gave me, and how he has brought so many people into my life to love me, pray with me and be there for me. my mom taught me to claim the verse about having friends starts with showing yourself friendly. i love how God's word is always true and trustworthy. it is so worth living by. all of this and i didn't even mention my husband and my boys...that's for another rambling. i'll warn you before the next one too! wow. i really did ramble. well, those of you who lasted through reading this whole thing, go get yourself a cup of coffee or some ice cream. you deserve it! :)

6 comments:

  1. i enjoyed your rambling. :) how amazing to see what God allowed, where He has brought you. and to realize that what He allows is for a greater purpose.

    now on to that ice cream....:)
    (oops i'm all out!! darn it all.)

    love you! :)

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  2. AWESOME picture!! i cant get over that!! you gotta frame that bad boy. what beautiful eyes.

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  3. Rach, I was already tearing up while reading your post b/c I can totally relate...and then when I saw me mentioned that really has me teary!!! You are a kindred-spirit sister; one of those women I don't get to see nearly enough but the bond of sisterhood is so strong and I know it will last a lifetime here on earth and for eternity, too!!!
    And, keep in mind, regarding your past with friends, that a beautiful and radiant Christian young lady is a threat to satan, and he will use female cattiness and jealousy to weasel in to hurt friendships and make that radiant woman wither. I think he probably did that in your case, and look what reward God blessed you with...countless friends of all ages who truly love you for you.
    That picture of you with the boys hast to get put in a frame!!!! Beautiful as always!!!
    xo

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  4. i finally read this and i'm glad i did and i WILL go get myself a cup of coffee! (not because i deserve it but because now that you mention it, it does sound good and is less fattening than your other suggestion of ice cream!) one reason i'm glad you wrote it is because i can show it to bri who will be relieved that someone else(especially someone she loves and respects so much) not only has felt that way before but REMEMBERS how it felt! she's going through some of the same feelings right now.
    i hope you don't think of me as a bad childhood friend since i often fell asleep while you were talking to me (or should i say "pouring your heart out" to me!). please don't take it personally! i do it all the time to matt and have even done it to brianna. and i love all of you so much :)

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  5. So, I just read this post, and it just makes me miss you even more! It is amazing how God brought our lives together, and I am so greatful. I love you girl!!

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  6. thats how i feel rightn now!!! i hae friends, just not many i click" with!!!
    -Bri

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