on new year's resolutions...

never liked 'em.


i always felt like you put all these huge aspirations on paper,
only to find that in march you have completely lost control
of everything, and are reminded what a failure you really are.
i mean, that's what it felt like to me.


so for me.


just me, personally


as this year comes to an end.


my only resolution is that on january 2nd, i would be more like Christ


on january 3rd, i would still be moving forward


on january 4th, i am still striving to be the kind of godly wife and mom that i need to be


on january 5th...ok. you get my point.


i do not want to have a list of things that i will check off - 
there, i read the Bible this year,
there, i memorized THAT verse this year


i mean, i do want to do those things.
but i want my heart to be in a place that is so sensitive to my Savior,
and so motivated to follow Him out of love for all that HE has done for me,
that i can look back, and just say..
wow! i read the whole Bible this year!
wow! i memorized a lot of scripture this year!


i was just reading in romans 5 today: 


"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."


amazing. isn't it?
Christ died for me, an enemy...
how could i NOT want to live for Him?


the very fact that i can go to sleep tonight and know for sure. 
beyond the shadow of a doubt
that if i didn't wake up on this earth, i would be in heaven -
gives incredible peace and motivation.


not based on my opinion.
certainly not based on my good works. 
but because i have a God that loved me enough
to pay the penalty that my sin deserved.


amazing love


so for me?
no notepad filled with checklists
no panic attacks that i may just give in to that chocolate ice cream. ha!


nope.


just living my life
one day at a time
trying to please God with my words 


with my thoughts


with my actions


with my life.