Mommy Monday ~ The iPhone is not the problem

If only my kid didn't have an iPhone I'm sure he'd be doing the dishes, mowing the lawn, and then he would, very respectfully, ask me if there is any other chores he can do. He will of course later come into the house and sit down with me to talk about his day.
But instead, he is just constantly on his iPhone.
I mean...these iPhones are going to be the death of all of us, right?

I think you can pick up on my extreme sarcasm here, but you clearly get my point.
Tell me you do.
(and my kids don't even have iPhones, but you get the idea)
I think it's pretty sad how people love to shift blame on anything and everything that they possibly can.

I have seen blame shifted onto public school, christian school, church, teachers, parents and whoever else happens to be part of the human race.
And for the most part, no one wants to ever admit that they might indeed be the problem.

All I'm saying is this:

Every problem has a root problem.

The iPhone is not the problem, people!

As parents, we need to take a little bit of time and figure out what every root problem is.
If it's a bad attitude, if it's a disobedient action, if it's eye-rolling or lying.
It is our job to back things up and figure out what is going on in the heart.

Proverbs tells us that above all, we need to guard our heart, because everything we do flows from it!
That's a lot of things, right? Every thing?!?
Everything.

The good attitudes and the bad.
They all come from our heart, and our heart is deceitful and can trick us into thinking that we have the right to act a certain way, or we deserve certain things.

Anything can distract us. If it's not electronic, it can just as easily be a book, a newspaper, magazine, or anything else we want it to be!

Don't get distracted about why your kids are being distracted.
Figure out the root problem.

We are going to naturally do the easy, lazy, selfish thing, and so are our kids.
We need to be taught to have self-discipline, to be motivated, and to have purpose.
It is our job as parents to teach our kids the importance of keeping priorities straight.

I'm just gonna throw a few tips at you to help you get started with making a change if you are already in the middle of it.

1. Get back to the basics.

Get back to teaching your kids how to interact with people.

It blows my mind how many teens I see that don't make eye contact, mumble when they talk, don't look up from their phone when answering a question, and keep their heads down pretty much all the time.

Remind them of how to answer questions, how to speak clearly and how to make eye contact.

This can start as early as when they can start talking. 

2. Set time limits. 
I don't care how old your kids are, they need time limits.
This is appropriate for toddlers using the iPad or tv, and it is also appropriate for teenagers.
Encourage activity.
I don't think it is ever appropriate (for a teenage boy, especially) to be allowed to have an iPhone or tablet in his room alone. Ever. Like seriously. Never. Ever.
There is never a need for that.
If you really love your kids and want the best for them,  you won't set them up for failure.

3. Start with yourself.
Say what?! I know...but we can be just as guilty of spending too much time on the phone, or computer. If they are watching you spend too much time on your electronics?
They will have no understanding of what the difference is in them spending too much time on theirs.

So remember. You are setting them up for failure or success.
Your choice.

Choose wisely and stop blaming anyone or anything else.