when God does things He doesn't have to

while i will never use my blog as a way to talk about specific people, i will continue to use my blog to be transparent. as a way of showing people who i really am.
i am not hypothetical.
i am a real person. with real feelings. and real emotions. and real problems.

i have been writing here for over 8 years.
and in those years God has brought many people into my life because of my writing.
they have encouraged me, asked questions and even in some cases become real live friends!

this past week has been difficult for me.
the kind of week that makes you question every single friendship you ever had.
the kind of week that makes you read into things and suddenly become skeptical of everyone and everything.
the kind of week that has you pouring over your Bible and begging God to just show you what He is trying to teach you.

i have heard God telling me this one for a while...
be satisfied in me.
i am enough for you.
you are complete in me.

sometimes God is trying to teach you something that your heart just doesn't seem to learn.
and sometimes when God sees you get hurt, he decides to go over and above and bless you even though he doesn't have to.

this is one of those times.

in the middle of God trying to teach me to be satisfied with his love.
he decided to show me love from many other people.

in the middle of my hurt...during the times that i was having the hardest time understanding...
he filled -and i mean FILLED- my inbox, and my phone with emails and texts from so many people who were reaffirming my calling. my heart. mySELF.
and i was blown away.

because see...he didn't have to!
i needed to learn that the approval of people is not needed!
it is appreciated, but not necessary.
i can live without it...and sometimes am called to live through it!
i am still responsible to love others.
to give myself to others.
to forgive.
and to move on.

and through this time of pain, of confusion, of disappointment, of a plethora of emotions.
God showed himself to be a loving, caring father to me.
a father who wanted to love on his little girl and show me that HE approves of me.
that HE thinks good of me.
that HE loves me with an unconditional, never ending, crazy love.

and i am so grateful.
grateful to HIM.
and grateful to those amazing women who decided to let God use them to touch my heart.
to pray for me and with me.
to heal me a little bit.
to help me to trust in people a little bit more.
to give me a renewed vision.

and i will keep going.
sometimes satan means things for evil and God says...oh no you don't!
i am going to use this for GOOD!

and that helps me to not quit.

so with this brand new week...
i am holding on to God.
i am claiming his promises.
i am choosing joy.
i am choosing love.
i am choosing trust.

because i know that i am complete in Him.
and he is all i need.