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Friday, June 28, 2013

5 simple ways to show your kids you love them

love is not a feeling.
it is an action.
however...love does create feelings!

i want for my kids to have confidence in who they are.
i want them to feel loved.
one thing i always pray for them, is that they will never doubt God's love.
i also don't want them to doubt my love for them. the difference is...
i make mistakes a lot.
so i have to make sure that i am doing what i can to show my love for them.

here are 5 simple ways to show your kids you love them:

1. tell them.
duh. i know. but seriously...make sure you are saying it out loud. a lot.
every time you leave the house. say i love you.
every time they do something that makes you laugh, or that makes you smile...say i love you.
you can not say it enough.
whisper it. yell it. say it. sing it. just make sure they know!
expand on it...tell them what you love about them. their laugh, the way they think of others, the way they make your family complete...say it and watch them react!

2. ask them if you've hurt them.
i know i've said it before, but every once in a while i think it is so important to ask them if you have done anything to hurt them.
it shows them that you know you aren't perfect. it shows them that you are humble enough to say sorry. and it shows them how to keep communication open with you (and others!)
tonight when you put them to bed just ask them...did i do anything today to hurt you?
be ready for an honest answer and be ready to say sorry.
keeping current is important in every relationship! we want to discourage bitterness!

3. discipline them.
it seems like more and more, parents are pulling the whole gotta-be-friends-with-my-kids thing.
kids need structure, guidelines, and rules. it's what gives them stability...and shows them love.
i know. i know. it's easier to just give in. give them their way...at the moment. it does not pay off in the long run! (you can read what the benefits of getting off your couch are in my post here.)
making rules and sticking to them is showing them that you are willing to work hard and shows them that you love them.

4. look them in they eyes.
because we are living in a day and age where we have electronic devices with us constantly, it is so easy to be looking at something besides our kids. checking our text messages, checking our instagram, checking our emails...and on and on it goes.
if your kids are telling you a story. stop everything.
put your phone down (or your book...it doesn't have to be just electronics!) and give them your full attention!
if you are going to play a game together, leave your phone upstairs.
if you are going to do a craft together, turn the tv off...turn the music on!
show them that they are more important than any other thing. show them that you value them.
*this is a good idea to do with anyone! if you are out for coffee, or if you are visiting with a friend don't jump and answer your phone the second it rings. don't interrupt them and check your text message the second it alerts you. show your friends that they are more important too!*

5. lighten up.
i am obviously a fan of discipline. there are certain things that you have to be strict on.
but there are other areas that don't really matter.
don't let yourself live too stressed of a life!
in the middle of a serious conversation, grab their hands and start dancing!
after a stressful day, eat ice cream before dinner.
play a game together, don't freak out if they spill something, spray them with the kitchen sprayer. show them that nothing has to be too serious. we can make life fun.

i hope that this will just remind you to take advantage of today.
the dirty laundry is not going anywhere.
the dirty dishes don't seem to be going too far either!
get things into perspective:
your kids are more important than your job. than your housework. than your friends.
now go prove it!

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