cousin lovin

a little afternoon fun after a few hours of driving.

AJ and his thoughts are all up on the blog

I hate road trips. So if I have ever traveled more than 3 hours to see you...know that you are incredibly special to me. Ha! So...I decided to visit my sister Melanie, but wanted to break up the 5 hour trip. I know...I'm lame. But anyways, last minute I decided to drive to Erika's first. I realized an hour into the trip that I wouldn't have time to blog! So.
I asked my 12-year-old to take my phone, and guest blog for me.
He thought I was joking.
I was not.
He amazed me and wrote this, spur of the moment, on my phone.
I.love.this.boy.

This "week more like month"I've been reading in Hebrews and I have been really challenged, I would definitely recommend reading this great book. One chapter really hit me though Hebrews 11 the faith chapter... I know what you're thinking I've read it tons of times. Still it hit me I should be known for faith I mean these people did not even have all this bible that we have. Yet they still had great faith in God. Now back to us ..we should be KNOWN for having faith... They didn't know that millions of people would know that they were faithful. People should be like,you see that person over there yeah that person has great faith in God just trusting him all the time. Even if you don't end up in a book, God will know that you have been faithful.

a post with random facts about me.

a few weeks ago, i got together with someone i had only met a couple of times.
i didn't really know anything about her, and i love listening to people's stories.
i have sat in my office...errrr...starbucks many times and listened to many different people's life stories.
as i started telling part of my story, she said..
oh, i know.
i read your blog.
i loved it. it was like in her mind, we were already friends.
it was the best. and now we really are friends!
(shout out to stacey!)
it made me happy, because i hope everyone can feel that way!
(and it made me question every other thing i said that day, in case i was "repeating" myself! ha!)

since i plan on meeting another girl on monday, i thought i would save some time from any future coffee date i might have and get some random facts about myself out of the way.
this way, i will have more time to hear about them.

the negatives:
*i hate the sound of rain on the roof. hate it.
*i can not handle the sound of people chewing.
*it grosses me out when people touch their feet. eww.
*i do not like pineapple.
*i have kind of a problem with loving shoes. i always "need" another pair.
*i hate talking on the phone.

the rest of the stuff:
*i love singing and playing the piano.
*i have recorded one original song.
*i love going on missions trips, and will absolutely go to haiti again soon.
*i am super-duper competitive.
*i won a push up contest when i was 12 against the boys.
*i used to dream about being in the olympics as a gymnast.
*i love thrift shopping going to yard sales.
*i love being around people.

so there it is.
a non exhaustive compilation of boring, unnecessary facts about rachelle.
i hope you have enjoyed your complete waste of the last 5 minutes of you reading this.
you will never get those 5 minutes back.
but now i don't have to talk about them when we hit up starbucks.
speaking of which, have i had coffee with you before?
because if not, we should totally go out :)

happy weekending!

summer days and the clothes that come with it..

so it's summer time.
that time of year that i love. but that time of year that takes on a whole new set of problems for those of us who are moms...of boys.
the days are getting longer, and the shorts are getting shorter!
i wrote this post 3 years ago. and i felt like it was about time to bring it up again and remind those moms of girls how we can work together to raise our kids right!

i feel like i am constantly trying to distract my boys from inappropriately dressed females. now before you start judging me for taking my kids to victoria's secret with me or something (which i DO NOT)...the times i am doing this the most is AT CHURCH! WHAT??? 
are you serious?? 
um. yes. 
ok, i guess i am having a little conversation with myself.

i came across this verse not too long ago:



do you understand what this means? it is repeated 3 times in Song of Solomon. 
the females today are waking something up early...the innocence of our boys. how many moms of boys are with me right now?? shouldn't we be able to go to the park, or go to the grocery store, or GO TO CHURCH and not have to fear that the innocent thoughts of our boys are being stirred up by girls - of all ages? 

this emphasized truth in the Bible bears repeating, and i think it is put so well. it is explained in a way that i never really thought of. 

this desire that a man has for a woman's body is very beautiful, natural and holy. 
however, it is meant for marriage only! 
it is not meant to be discovered by my 8-year-old, who can not have a complete understanding of what it all means. 

it is not meant to be awakened and stirred up yet! 
it is supposed to be...i guess the opposite of awakened would be dormant? 
defined: temporarily in abeyance yet capable of being activated 
so it is temporary, but it is necessarily so!

you moms who have girls, and you moms yourselves...can you help those of us with young boys out? 
can you choose to wear a tank under your low shirt? can you teach your girls the importance of modesty and the fact that attraction is from your inward qualities? 

see, that is what i, and so many other moms are trying to train our boys to look for...inward qualities. 

don't get me wrong, i am all about style. but here's the thing. you can still look cute and be modest! 
it might mean making a small adjustment here and there, but it is worth it! 

i pray every night that my boys will stay pure. in their thoughts, and in their lives. 
i also pray for my boys future wives. that they will keep themselves pure. 
that they will not let their adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God."

so please...the times i am teaching my boys to make a covenant with their eyes not to look with lust at a young woman? (job 31:1)

can you be teaching your girls to dress modestly, and with decency? (1 timothy 2:9)

this way my boys will have your girls to hang out with.
and see...this is how it's supposed to work.

we do our part, you do your part, they do their part.
awesome.
ready. set. go.

The award for most opinionated goes to...

So maybe I got an award for being most opinionated when I was in high school.
And maybe I am raising a little boy who is well on his way to winning that exact same award.
But I really do make it a point to not give advice to someone when they have not asked me.
There's nothing more annoying than a know-it-all...except for maybe when that know-it-all tells you what they think YOU need to do.
I remember last year, sitting in a room of moms I had just met while they all discussed their views on discipline methods.
I just sat there.
I didn't say anything. (Remember Ang, Stace, Beth and Kate?)
I knew my views were unpopular, and even though I was totally confident and strong in what i believed, I just don't like debates.
They stress me out.
Like totally. Stress. Me. Out.
But I do believe that I have the gift of exhortation and I am so passionate about my beliefs.
Oh...and don't worry. Those moms asked. And I shared! AND we are still friends!

I love that I have been able to encourage other people.
I love talking to people about the way that Gods plan is to help us!
About the fact that he does not want us to be confused, frustrated and discouraged.
I enjoyed teaching on king hezekiah this week in Sunday school. There is a verse in chronicles that says "the people rested in hezekiahs words".
I have been very inspired by that phrase this week.
My prayer with my blog is that people...you...my readers. Will be able to "rest" in my words.
Not that they are MY words, but the words I am hoping you can rest in are GOD'S words.
His words are words of HOPE.
His words are words of PEACE.
His words are words of REST.
His words are words of JOY.
And his words are words for YOU!

So I am hoping that my opinionated thoughts don't ever come across as if I'm a know-it-all.
And I hope that you are able to take what God is showing me, and use these opinionated words of mine to give you rest and confidence.
I feel like we're all in this together...you and me.
Just learning and growing together.
And I like friends.
I like feeling like I'm not alone.
So thank you. Thank you for continuing to read my opinionated thoughts and liking me just the same.

And looking back, I guess that award was pretty accurate. Ha!

everyone needs a beach day

i am so incredibly grateful that i live near the coast.
oh. my. word.

today, we just needed to get away.
i ran this morning with my dad.
went home.
told the boys to get in the car.
and 20 minutes later we were doing this

the beach was empty.
and we had an amazing time... just me and the boys.

 looking for shells, jumping away from the ice cold waves. (well..they were, not me. ha!)

enjoying the amazingly incredible creation of an amazingly incredible God.

skipping rocks

and totally loving life.
i mean totally.

then we went home.
i made lunch.
had a coffee date with a friend.
served at the porch and got to see some of my favorite people

then went home.
made supper.
went to praise team practice.
went to our young adults group.
and phew.
now here i am.

and i am so glad that i started the day with a peaceful, calming, refreshing beach day.

certain little things that are making me happy...

there are certain little things that are making me happy lately.

a keurig (duh) 

and a beautiful oven and hood that came with the house...saving us a lot of money!

also, a backsplash that was put up by adam's prayer partner. reminding me of our amazing church family.

the view out my side door and the back of my barn.
oh how i just love looking at this!

my boys being silly.

because they are silly and they make me laugh constantly.

continuing to find new tulips growing up all over my yard

perfect sunlight reminding me of an amazing location i have for photoshoots right in my own back yard!

this has been a great day. so thankful for beautiful sunny spring days!

what little things are making you happy today?

the fatter i get, the more i want to eat.

dudes. i am not joking.
why in the world does life work this way?

the more i start feeling my jeans get a little tighter, the more i find myself going to the cupboard and grabbing handfuls of chocolate chips...because it's like. what's the point anyways?

the more days i let go by without going to the gym, the less i feel like going.

it tends to work that way in every other area of my life as well...

the more clothes i see piled on my bedroom floor the more i want to just throw another load of laundry on top!

you would think that it would be the opposite, right?
i mean...shouldn't the tight jeans motivate me to want to lose weight so i can wear them again?
shouldn't the pile of clothes motivate me to fold them and put them away so i can actually see my floor again?
but it just doesn't always work that way.
come on...you know you are the same way, right?!?
(please say yes!)

that's kind of where i am right now.
i can always have an excuse for any weakness i have,
but today...
i decided to just take one project at a time.
just take one meal at a time.
just take one person at a time.
and not overwhelm myself with too many projects, problems and worries.
because that's what i can do.
start to panic because of all the things i have to do with my business, with the porch, with my house, with my everything...and then sit there and do nothing because i am just too overwhelmed!

today, we set the timer in 10 minute increments.
anyone can do anything for 10 minutes, right?
so the boys worked on organizing their rooms for 10 minutes.
i cleaned the barn for 10 minutes.
i ate handfuls of chocolate chips for 10 minutes.  ha! joking. i actually controlled myself and had none!

sometimes you just need to say alright already!
let's start today.
right now.
i've said it before...not everything needs to start on a MONDAY!
start on tuesday for the love of peter, paul and mary!

what do you need to start tomorrow?
maybe read your Bible in the morning.
maybe eat a healthy breakfast.
maybe send a letter you've been meaning to write.
maybe hug your kids 5 times, tell your husband you're proud to be his wife, write a note for someone and leave it where they will find it.
maybe leaving a comment on your friend rachelle's blog. (ha)

whatever it is.
just take it one. step. at. a. time!
you can do it!
just do one thing.
then write it on a list, and cross it off...you will feel accomplished already!!

don't get so caught up in everything you have to do, that you forget you can just do a little thing here and there with what you have right in front of you!

here's to a killer 10 minutes.
ready. set. go.

because every person deserves one person who really cares

if you know me, or have read my blog for any amount of time you know that adam and i founded and run a youth center in our town called the porch

we love it.

everything about it.

well...almost everything. ha!

what you may not know is what an average day looks like.

mondays we come in early and open the center up to anyone who wants to come and pray for the teens. we pray individually for the kids... by name and pray that we will be able to show the love of Christ to them.

we pray that they will be making wise choices at school, and will be showing honor to their parents.

we pray for their protection and that they would be choosing their friends wisely.

we pray that they will be able to take a stand and be willing to be stand alone when the rest of their friends are smoking pot, and sleeping around. (pretty much an accurate description of what is going on, sadly.)

the doors open at 2:30 when they either walk here from school, or get dropped off on the bus.

they run in and go straight for the snacks.

you never really know if it's going to be an easy day, or if the kids are going to be wound.

many times we get comments like...

give me more snacks.

i don't like the food you have out

do you have anything better to drink?

sometimes we get a thank you here and a thank you there.

a lot of times we hear cursing from the second the doors are open.

(which they know is not allowed in here)

sometimes we hear bullying taking place and we have to get involved.

sometimes we have to tell them to stop throwing things at the window.

sometimes we play a million games of pool, ping-pong or fooseball with them

(i always win. right grant? haha!)

sometimes we have parents thank us for what we are doing.

sometimes we have parents ask us why we are allowing "our kids" to run around outside on the main street.

we spend 2 hours giving to the kids.

talking if they want to talk, leaving them alone if they want to be left alone.

we play games and we clean up a lot.

we give advice when they will listen.

then we close it down, and do it again on wednesday. then friday.

no matter what the day looks like, we have one thing that keeps us going.

we believe that every person deserves one person who really cares about them.

we believe ultimately that Jesus is what they need, and that the principles from the Bible will give them guidelines to help them succeed immensely in life.

we don't ever try to hide that.

but we believe that sometimes God uses us to be that one person.

i love it.

i genuinely care about every single kid that comes in.

some days we have 25 middle school boys running all over the place.

i love it.

some days i clean up soda spills 10 times.

i love it.

some days i say "stop cursing" 50 times...to the same boy!! (you know who you are!!)

i love...getting to be a part of his life :)

some days i talk girl-talk with the few girls who are brave enough to come and hang with all the boys!

i love it.

i hope that maybe i can be that one person...for even just one person.

maybe i'll never get thanked for it.

that's ok.

maybe they won't even realize that the fact they have the stability of me and adam in their lives every week is even affecting them.

that's ok too.

we keep praying.

we keep loving.

we keep cleaning.

and we keep doing what God has called us to do.

i would do anything for these kids.

i get defensive of them.

when someone complains because the boys are running around and being too rowdy? 

i get all crazy and feel like...don't you be messing with my boys!!

they need us!

they need us to show them that they are important.

they have value.

their actions do matter.

see....if you treat them like they don't matter? you are kind of saying that their actions don't matter either.

and that is kind of a big deal.

my challenge to you:

who is in your life right now that might need you to be that one person?

do it!

and maybe you love the idea of a youth center, but just don't have the time to be a part of the volunteer staff.

we are always looking for donors!

everything we offer is free.

we depend on people like you to see a need, and be the answer.

we are only at 80% support right now and would be honored if you would join the team with us!

together, we can all make a difference. 

one person at a time.

done with latin for the year

i already wrote a post on how classical conversation saved my life.
you can read that here.
but seriously. i was not cut out to be a home school mom, i am just doing it because i feel like that is what God has called me to do.
this year.
we take it year by year, and see what happens.

tonight we got to celebrate their homeschool year with our new friends at the boys closing program.

definitely needed to play a little soccer before hand...ya know.
just to see if we can get a grass stain or two before it was time to go on stage.
oh jeepers.
gotta love being a boys mom!

the boys memorized a 162 point timeline, along with many other things... but i'm not one to brag.

my boys are super close to my parents and i love that.
my mom changed her plans just to make sure they were both available to drive 45 minutes to be there to support their boys!
so thankful for them.

 we are still trying to decide exactly which program in cc we should choose for aj for next year.
one of the boys from the challenge A group (the 12-year-old son of one of my new friends) drew this map of the world FROM MEMORY!
yes. i said from memory!
(my very own 13-year-old niece alissa can do this as well!!)

pretty amazing, huh??

so proud of these 2 little men of mine.
could riley be any cuter with his little tie?
he told me that he really likes wearing ties, and wants to start wearing them more!
i did not tell him he had to dress up, he just wanted to!

so excited to see the amazing plans God  has for these little men.

my thoughts on raising an-almost teenager: aj turns 12

things have been crazy up and down all around lately with trying to get things ready in the new house and actually moving in.
crazy, but crazy - good.

in the middle of all of this, my baby boy turned 12.
say what? 12? how on earth is this even happening! i could not possible be as old as that.
but alas i am.

i can certainly remember it like it was yesterday.

i didn't know that i would have a difficult delivery and come close to losing my baby boy.
i didn't know that i would be rushed into the operating room to have an emergency c-section.
i didn't know that adam wouldn't have even be in the room when aj was born
and honestly...i didn't even know things were so serious until after the fact because of the way my amazing doctor/friend handled the whole thing. just perfectly.

he was born 2 weeks early.
and the first night i took him home he screamed and screamed and screamed.
i remember singing to him. crying with him. and asking him what he wanted me to do?!?!!?
i did not sleep for one second that first night.
we spent the next 18 months holding him every night to get him to sleep.
yep. i was that mom.
if you decide to judge me, that's fine. but i don't regret it and i wouldn't go back and change it.
i cherished every single moment holding him. rocking him. rubbing his head...
knowing that those moments would not last for long.
and while we're talking about "those kinds of moms" my boys had pacifiers until they were 4.
you can judge for that too, but again...don't regret it.
i love pacifiers. i love how they calmed my boys. and i love how they look.
i would let them have them still if it wouldn't be totally wacky.
haha...i may be that mom. but i am not that mom!

aj is pretty much adam in the flesh.
i mean...it's almost scary.
he is easily 2 inches taller than me.
he currently shares clothes with adam (not always on purpose)
he is very...unhurried.
takes everything in stride, and has a very happy outlook on life.
he is unselfish and easily gives up what he wants for someone else.

he still loves to give me hugs...even in public.
he is incredibly athletic. like. in a crazy way.
he is good at everything. from ping-pong to tennis to basketball to soccer.
he is getting really good at playing the piano.
he loves ice cream...just like his mom.
but hates cake...just like his dad.
his favorite meal is spaghetti and meatballs.
he is a great reader and loves reading the hardy boys. (he has almost every single one.)
he loves oregon sports, and his favorite color is green.
he loves his aunts and uncles, cousins and grandparents.
his laugh. oh his laugh. i can't stop smiling just thinking about it.
i am tearing up just writing this and seeing all the amazing qualities he has and thinking of how incredibly blessed i am that God blessed our family with aj.
he is a great big brother.
an awesome big cousin to the little ones
and he is always ready to say sorry after he has done something that he knows he shouldn't do.
if you've spent any time with aj...you love him.
end of story.

i don't really feel like there is a big difference in raising your kids, no matter their age.
i mean, there obviously is...but the basics are the same:
it's still just about consistency.
open communication.
lots of affection.
lots of laughing.
and always, always going back to the Bible to figure out what we are supposed to be doing.
and teaching my boy that HE can always go back to the Bible to figure out how he is supposed to handle me as a mom!! ha!
i love being a mom. it brings me so much joy every single day.


my sweet aj. i pray for you every single day.
i pray that you will be a strong leader. that you will stand for what's right no matter who else follows. i pray that you will stay pure in your thoughts and in your actions. i pray that God will use you in incredibly amazing ways and that you will be able to change the world with the power of God in you.
i am so proud of you. like, beyond words proud of you. you make me happy and incredibly proud. you make me feel better when i am sad, and you always know how to make me smile. i am honored to be your mom and i know that i am so so lucky to have you.
i will always love you.
always.

trying to organize and structure my blog...help anyone?

while i have been blogging since 2005, it has only been the last few years that i have really started being more consistent with it.

and it has only been the last couple of months that i have decided to blog full time. 

as in...every single day except for sunday.

it can be a pretty difficult task - coming up with something to write about every day, but i do so love writing

and i enjoy being able to use this as an outlet.

i am also so grateful for the words of encouragement that i have gotten from you, my readers.

sometimes i get an email, or a comment from someone that i had no idea was even reading my blog!

and i recently discovered that i had "friends" i didn't even known about!  ha!

if you know me at all at this point, you know that my love language is words of affirmation. 

you can imagine then, how much your words totally fill my love tank, baby! ha!

i have thought about having certain days be designated for certain topics.

but, honestly? i am a little afraid that if i commit to it, then i will have a hard time keeping it up!

so i thought i would ask you to help me out!

who are my readers?

what do you find the most helpful or enjoyable to read?

*parenting posts

*photography tips

*photo sessions

*ministry wives posts

*controversial topics ;)

*basic beliefs?

*homeschooling

i would love to hear from you!

please comment at the bottom of the post 

or email me at ajnrileysmommy@ hotmail . com

or you can facebook message me.

if you could just take a couple of minutes to respond it would really help me out and i would so appreciate your feedback!

thank you so much!

xo

how owning a home has changed me...

it hasn't.

if i was a woman of few words, i would leave it at that.
but you all know better than that. ha!

before i begin... let me just say that i love my new home.
love it.
i am thankful for it.
i am totally aware of how blessed i am.
and i do not take it for granted.
not one bit.

however.
after spending time with a variety of people over the last several years, i was under the impression that something magical happened as soon as you signed a contract stating that you...er...the bank...now own a particular house. (please note the sarcastic tone)
i remember feeling like people looked down on me.
like they were just a little bit above me.
and was even informed that i was considered lower-class until i owned a home.

i admit that while i know absolutely that God is not a respecter of persons, and he does not ever love one person more than another based on their possessions, i still struggled.
still.
i still struggled with not only feeling like less of a person,
but i struggled with judging the people who thought they were so great because they owned a home!
it looks ugly when i type it, especially in bold black type, but it's the honest to goodness truth.
i know my Bible.
i know my God.
and i know that God doesn't care about that stuff.
so this is why it would frustrate me that other people acted as if they didn't know this part of the Bible!
i never understood it, but i honestly thought that maybe i would get it once i owned a house.
i thought that maybe i would wake up the first morning in my new home and suddenly feel different.

i didn't.
i felt the same.
because i am the same.

last fall i took a few pictures of adam and the boys playing outside and it looked like this

and then i took a few pictures of adam and the boys playing outside today.
those look like this.

weird, right? they look a lot the same!
and that is the point.
i am the same.
i am who i am because of who God made me and what He created me to do.
not what i decide to own.

i hope and pray that any person reading this right now who doesn't own a home will stop feeling like you are less of a person than anyone else!!
you. are. not.
i hope that you will ignore the looks and comments of other people around you who are thinking less of you.
let. it. go.
and i hope you will be able to hold onto the truth of where true worth comes from:
it comes from a loving Father who created you and had plans for you before you were even born.
pretty amazing.
that is who you are.
don't let other people make you feel any differently..
it just. ain't. true.

"finally brothers and sister, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable - if anything is excellent or praiseworthy - think about such things."

philippians. 4:8

Awana and all that jazz

our church has offered awana  for over 20 years.
it is a pretty amazing program that gives kids the opportunity to memorize tons of scripture.
i mean tons.
i don't know the exact number but it has to be close to 600.
they also have a game time, a Bible teaching time, and are able to earn patches and awards along the way.
the boys worked really hard this year and completed their books.

aj completed the entire program (our church only offers up to the 6th grade)
this means he completed NINE books!

we are so proud of our boys and have seen over and over the benefits of having so much Bible memorized!
even adam, to this day, can remember many verses that he memorized at his church's awana program when he was 10 years old!
pretty awesome!

here are the boys with their listeners.
aj with ethan
and riley with matt.

photography 101 - photoshop creations

if you're anything like me, you love seeing those little wall hangings at marshalls or tjmaxx that have all different sayings, with a variety of fonts.

i see them all the time, and either don't want to spend the money (i am pretty cheap!)

or they just don't have quite the right sayings.

so.

if you have photoshop...you are in luck.

if you don't, you can download a free trial version and get 30 days for free!

if you don't have a variety of fonts already on your computer, there are many different places you can go to snag some.

1001 free fonts, dafont, and font squirrel have some really good ones!

then you can pick your own sayings and make your own little artwork!

you open a new file in photoshop.

make it whatever size you plan on purchasing (in inches not pixels)

then you start creating!

here is one that i made a few months ago with quote i found that i loved

and then right after the boston marathon bombings, i found this Bible verse that i thought was so exactly what was needed so i made this..

you can get creative and use different backgrounds.

i will add this one here, in case you want to use it. 

you can google to find free paper backgrounds and come up with quite a few!

you can use this as the background by going to file. then place. once you do that, it will give you the option to add any pictures from your computer as the background.

once you have used whatever fonts and words you want, you can save it as a jpeg file.

then you can order a print through any company, but i recommend mpix. 

and you can buy different mountings through them as well which you can see here.

i have bought the foam core and the double weight matboard, and really like both of them!    then you can just hang them up and not even have to buy a frame!

pretty cool stuff! it ends up being much cheaper, and you can custom make it to be the exact colors and fonts that you want.

let me know if you have any questions! i am happy to help!

and show me your masterpieces when you have finished!

My first post from my new house

So this weekend was our big moving weekend.
Now while most of you are picturing tons of boxes and a uhaul. Um. Not quite. It was more like grab-a-ton-of-stuff-and-dump-it-wherever-you-want. Yep, that about sums it up.
But we are here. My boys have been giddy all night and I think are finally settling down to go to sleep.
I am surrounded by mounds of clothes but don't worry...the bed is made!
That's how I roll.
So tonight's post is short and sweet.
I am thankful for what God has provided for our family.
Blown away, actually.
I get very sentimental especially at night, so I will just leave it at that.
Grateful.
Thankful.
Amazed at my loving God who cares so much about every detail of his children's lives, that he even decided to give me my very own school room!
So thankful.
So.so. Thankful.

if i could ask Dzhokhar Tsarnaev's mother a few questions...

if you watch the news at all, i'm sure you have seen this face

the face of a young man named Dzhokhar Tsarnaev.

he has become known instead as the marathon bomber.

the 19-year-old boy who, fueled by his anger against america, worked with his brother to try and bring fear and death to her people.

if you've clicked on any of the news stories along the way, you've probably seen this face

this is dzhokhar's mother.

i often think about my role as a mother.

i work very hard to make sure i am instilling positive, godly character qualities for my boys to follow and live after.

but at the end of the day? they are still responsible for their actions!

proverbs tell us that even a child is known by his doings.

does that mean that i just sit back and hope for the best?

of course not!

i will continue to work hard. i will still continue to train and discipline them the way that God wants.

but back to dzhokhar's mother.

i wish i could have the chance to ask her a few questions.

what is she thinking? 

is she thinking back to all the sleepless nights when her boys were babies?

is she remembering the long weeks and months of potty training?

is she reminiscing about her boys playing, giggling, wrestling...

is she wondering what went wrong?

what was her life like then? 

did she spend hours researching and studying ways to raise strong, loving leaders?

did she hug them a lot?

what about her words. did she use them to speak life into those impressionable little lives...

or was she building up bitterness and anger?

was she conscious about helping them gain self-confidence...without it turning into pride?

because...see. all of these questions? are very meaningful to me. 

i think they can affect me.

i think that every choice we, as moms make. every response we have. every hug we give...or hold back -

those make an impact that can affect our kids forever.

i want to know how to raise my kids.

i want to know that what i am doing will help them grow. 

grow to be strong. loving, godly and responsible.

so dzhokar's mother.

what is she going to do now?

is it too late for her? is she feeling like her life is over? like there is no hope?

i mean...she will forever be known as the mother whose sons killed innocent lives.

does she feel guilt? responsibility? shame?

i can't know that.

but i just can't help but be inspired when i hear the stories about those injured and the families of those who have lost a child in the bombings.

i know that good things can certainly come from bad...although it is easy for me to say.

i didn't lose a child.

i didn't lose a leg.

but when i think about this horrific incident.

i can't help but think about it from a mother's perspective.

and do you know what it does for me?

it drives me.

drives me to make sure i am constantly communicating with my boys.

teaching them that our God. the one we serve...does not show favortism. to anyone.

it motivates me to love harder today.

to hug more. smile more. laugh more. and be stressed less.

it makes me want to teach my boys the way to love people. 

and to keep current. current with their feelings and emotions, to make sure they are thinking right first. 

to take responsibility for their actions.

so if i could ask dzhokhar's mom a few questions.

here they are.

what are you thinking? what was your life like?

and 

how did it go from what it was then to what it is now?

because it doesn't happen overnight.

bitterness grows.

anger grows.

hatred grows.

but it can also be stopped.

and we can help our kids learn that

forgiveness can grow.

patience can grow.

love can grow.

let's take this time to really evaluate our kids lives.

our own lives!

what if you could be that mom that people are dying to ask questions of...

because you have raised upstanding amazing kids!

let's try and be that mom. who's with me?

go big or go home

i am so horrible at actually printing out my pictures.
i love taking them.
i love and adore looking at them.
then i blog them,
then i save them to my phone and my computer.
then i close my computer and put my phone down.

so. now that i am moving into a bigger place with much more wall space.
i am going to go buck wild.

i am a lover of canvases.
i mean...everyone should have them.
they look amazing on your wall.
like the kind of amazing where you can't stop smiling when you see them!

so this picture here?

next time you see it, it will be in a 24x36 canvas version on my family room wall!
that's right baby.
go big or go home!

so excited to get it and i can't wait to update with pictures of what it looks like hanging up!
go and get you a canvas!

photo credit: bethany chase photography
hair and makeup: rachelle chase photography