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Monday, May 26, 2014

Mommy Monday ~ Keeping Current

I know I have talked about this before, but this is such a hugely important aspect of parenting that can so easily be overlooked.

You have got to make the effort to keep current with your kids.
What exactly does this look like?

It looks like taking the time to stop everything and give your child the chance to talk to you.
For me, it is usually at bedtime, and it can start as early as when your kids are about 3 years old.
We always have family devotions and prayer time together before bed, but I also go in and pray with the boys individually once they are in bed.

I don't ask this every single night, but I do make a conscious effort to make sure that I am pretty consistent in asking.
It can be worded in a few different ways, but it's something to the effect of:
Did I do anything today, or this week, that made you sad? (Or upset, or disappointed, or did I do anything that didn't make sense to you)

Being alone with your kids, and giving them the chance to open up and talk to you about things is so so important.
Sometimes, the days and weeks can go by and you can just fly right by this kind of thing.
The Bible talks a lot about bitterness and the way that it can hurt you.
It is so easy to become bitter over simple little things that can just be talked about a little bit at a time.
It also gives you the chance to show your kids that you know you aren't perfect!
Yes- it is opening yourself up and that can be a little scary.
Because there are going to be times when the answer will be YES! You did hurt my feelings, or you did this and I didn't understand why you did it, or you said that and it seemed mean.

It gives you the chance to be humble.
Be honest. And be willing to say you are sorry and ask for forgiveness.
You are showing by example the best way to be in any relationship is open and honest.
You are also showing them that their opinion matters! Obviously they need to understand that you are their authority and there are times when you are going to do things that they don't understand and it doesn't always mean that you are in the wrong, and they don't always need to know why.
But there are many times when you can simply explain why you did or didn't do something.
Or you can say that you were wrong and you shouldn't have done something.
Either way, it is preparing your kids for all of their future relationships.

We want for our children to understand that when they have friends, or when they eventually get married, they need to keep current in those relationships as well!

Bitterness is an ugly quality to have.
It can literally destroy your life - I've seen it happen.

Let's take a little time out of our busy live and ask a couple simple questions.
Give them the chance to talk things out when it's just something from this week...not many things from the last 6 years!

Why not start tonight?
Ask your kids if there's anything you did that made them upset this week - and if they say yes?
Be ready to say you're sorry and to tell them how much you love them and value their opinion.
Let's be raising some seriously awesome kids together!

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