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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Find you some new friends, homegirl!

Ever been away with a bunch of ladies and feel like all you are hearing is
my husband always does this...
and my husband never does that...
And it's not singing their praises?? if-ya-know-what-I-mean.

I remember hearing women do this even before I got married.
And I remember thinking - I hope I never talk about my husband so poorly behind his back!
It just does not sit right with me!

Fast forward 15 years...
I had the chance to go away for night with the leaders wives from my church.
We spent the night at York beach, Maine and the weather could not have been more perfect.
We walked with my to the beach to watch the sunrise. 
We ran around the beach.
We walked to the Nubble Lighthouse and watched the waves crash onto the rocks.
It was beautiful.

While all of that was amazing, there was one particular part that stood out to me.
There were 9 of us there.
Saturday afternoon, we sat in the living room in a circle.
There were people from all different backgrounds, all different upbringings, all different personalities, styles and looks.
We went around the room.
One at a time, and prayed out loud for our husbands.

It was amazing.
It was moving.
It was challenging.

I listened as one woman thanked God for her best friend, another thanking God that her husband completed her, another thanking God for all the circumstances that brought her and her husband together, and another thanked God for getting them through a time in their marriage where they really struggled and He restored.
I listened as these women praised their husbands...brought up their good qualities, asked God to bless, to give them wisdom in leadership, and strength in their jobs.

I'm pretty sure we were all crying.

Listen to me...It matters who your friends are.

I was amazed at the fact that I attend a very small church, and yet the foundation of this congregation is secure with 9 strong marriages representing the leadership.
(actually 10, because one of our elders lost his wife who he adored to cancer)

Do you understand how unusual this is?
Getting to spend time with women who praise their husbands behind their backs?
Who respect their men, and who pray for them?
Some had been married for 12 years, many for over 30 and some for more than 40 years!

It matters who your friends are.

I can not help but think how different my own marriage would be if I chose to hang out with other women who criticized their husbands.
If I chose to hang out with bitter, frustrated, angry wives.

We teach it to my boys. We teach it to the kids at The Porch. I will teach it to you now.

It matters who your friends are.

I hope that the prayers of these amazing ladies will ring in my ears on the days when I am tempted to roll my eyes at my husband, or to put down something he has done, or to make a sarcastic comment about him.

My husband needs respect and love from me.
I feel so blessed to be able to surround myself with women who are putting God first and seeking to please God in their marriages.
I am not saying they are perfect, and I am not saying that they don't struggle.
That would not be realistic.

But these women know what their foundation needs to be. Jesus.
It is about not putting your husband first, but putting God first.
The rest falls into place.

Thank you Mom, Maria, Liz, Bev, Patty, Robin, Kathy and Brenda for showing me by example how to love my husband.

If anyone reading this is finding themselves hanging out with women who are putting down their husbands?
(or putting down anyone, for that matter!)
Challenge them to stop!
And if they don't want to?

Find you some new friends, homegirl!

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