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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Why moms need to give themselves a break

Sometimes, moms are too hard on themselves.

I  think we as moms just need to give ourselves a break.

Here's what I mean.

How many times have you gone to bed at night and just felt guilty?

*You felt guilty because you were a little bit too impatient.
*You felt guilty because you were on the phone too long, or on the computer too long, or watched tv too long.
*You felt guilty because you can't even remember how many hours they sat in front of the tv...
or the iPad..or the computer.
*You felt guilty because you think you handed them your phone to play with just to get them to stop whining.
*You felt guilty because you gave them 4 popsicles and only 2 servings of fruits and vegetables.
Ok...who are we kidding here. It was more like 14 popsicles and no servings of fruits and veggies.

BUT...here is the thing.

That feeling of guilt is such a waste of time!

We end up doing things we wished we hadn't, or not doing things we wish we had...
but then instead of moving on and forgetting the past, we hold on to this horrible feeling of guilt, which in turn robs us of any joy and strength to move on and change the future!

At the end of the day, your 5-year-old is not going to look back on his life when he is 25 and wish that you would have turned off the tv after just the 2 episodes of Dora the Explorer. I mean...you might look back and wish that her screaming voice wasn't still stuck in your head, but that's a whole different subject!

I think that when the day is over, and the kids are sleeping and the house is quiet.
We think back. And we wish we had done things differently. 
And we picture the house being clean, there being no crying, whining or arguing, the music playing... the kids doing crafts for 2 solid hours while munching on organic carrot sticks and snap peas. Then they obediently get up from the table while you carry them to bed for nap time. Snuggle for 15 minutes and then they fall asleep.
(insert record scratching here)

Chances are. There is not going to be a day like that.

But instead of feeling guilty about that, why not just focus on the positive things that did happen?!
Focus on the silly laughter, the messy floors and sticky tables. Make yourself appreciate the fact that you have sugar for bribing and electronics to help you keep your sanity.

They will be fine.
They will survive.

Maybe you will have to take the time to stop everything before bed and ask your kids to forgive you if you snapped at them, or if you didn't spend as much quality time with them as you wanted to.
And remember...sometimes it's the smallest things that they are going to remember forever.
Honestly. When we played 30 minutes of nerf wars with the boys? It was such a small amount of time for us, and they still haven't stopped talking about it.
It is literally like the best day of their lives.
Ya know what that does? 
It helps cover over that time that I was impatient with my response to a question Ry had.
And that's just it.
Sometimes we get it, sometimes we don't. 
But we have to learn this truth: Love covers a multitude of sins.

So for tonight. 
Just for tonight.

Give yourself a break!

Decide that tomorrow will be the day you cut those popsicles back down to just 2.
Decide that you are going to ask for forgiveness if needed, and then just move on.
Decide that tomorrow you are going to hug your kids more, react a little slower, and overlook the spilled milk.

Don't let your bad decisions from yesterday, keep you from making good decisions today!

Because your kids are not going to remember anyways, God does not expect yourself to be perfect (but he does expect you to be growing!) and you get a whole new chance to start over tomorrow...

And that is why moms need to give themselves a break.

1 comment:

  1. This is another perfect post. Thank you so much!!! Love this.


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