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Monday, March 17, 2014

Mommy Monday ~ Checking up on your kids

I had some interesting conversations down at The Porch today.
I love interacting with teenagers (and pre-teens) and trying to get their perspective on things.

The topic?

The question?
Do you parents check your instagram?

The majority answer?

There was a little bit of conversation that went with it, and some kids said their parents do check their instagram.
Some said their parents didn't check anything they did and it was because their parents trusted them.
Please excuse me while I literally bite my tongue off so as not to ruin the relationships I have been trying to develop for the last year.

I can not tell you what it does to my momma's heart when I see these kids incessantly holding their iPads, iPhones or iPods and are literally gaining their view of the world based on instagram.
I can not tell you how much it breaks my heart to hear these girls saying how many followers they have, how many people "liked" the picture they posted and then watch them act as if this is how they gain love, respect, and popularity.

I can not tell you how much it literally pains me to even think about these 12 and 13-year-old boys who have probably viewed more pornography than I could ever imagine and quite honestly? They are probably pretty much numb to it at this point. Not even realizing that it has a name. We call it obscene.  (I call it sick and wrong, yo!)

As I scrolled through some feeds of girls, I wasn't disgusted. I wasn't appalled. I wasn't even shocked.
I was just sad.
Sad that there are seemingly so many unintentional parents in this world.

Please understand something that I think is so important to "get" as a parent.

We are being deceived.

Did you hear what I just said?
We are being deceived!!

Since when is the opposite of looking at your kids instagram distrust?
Since when does a parent blocking certain websites from their kids make that parent mean?
Since when is it ok for you to decide to break companies rules for no reason at all (Facebook clearly states that you have to be 13 to have an account.)

Things are different now. So different than when I was growing up.
I used to have a pretty good idea of the level of my popularity on 2 occasions a year...
Valentine's Day, when I would see how many carnations I received at school.
And the end of the year when I would see how many people signed my yearbook.
The rest of the year? I lived in ignorant bliss.
Now...it is literally hundreds of times a day. These kids are being rated, evaluated, classed, appraised - constantly!

Look. I know it's hard to be a parent who takes a stand. I get it.
But you just need to do it. For the sake of your kids.
If you are looking for a mom to throw under the bus to your kids, go ahead and throw me.

AJ does not have a Facebook account because he is 12.
I have absolutely no problem at all checking my boys iPods (they do not have instagram) at any given moment. To be honest? I have no problem at all checking my  husband's iPhone at any given moment!
Adam has a filter on his laptop so that he literally is not even able to go to some websites, including youtube...and a report of every website he's been to gets sent to our email address.


1 Corinthians 10 says this...if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don't fall.

No one is above falling. No one.
That means me, that means Adam, that means our boys, that means you!

I think that one major deceitful thought we can have is that our kids are above doing certain things.
No one is above anything.
When I see the things that are being viewed on instagram, youtube, or any other website by boys?        It just blows me away. Images can not be erased from your mind. And I am not ok to sit by and let my boys view of women be warped into believing that those women are simply a body. A body to be used.
A body to be gawked at.
Women are more than just a body.
And for the love of Peter, Paul and Mary...
Can you moms of girls help us out a little bit for crying out loud?

Please. Stop letting your daughter post pictures of herself with everything hanging out.
I just. Can't.
Eventually, my boys are going to be looking for a wife! It would be nice if there were more than a few to choose from!

Be intentional.
I know it's easier to ignore it. It's easier to give in, it's easier to think everything will be fine. It's easier to think that that skin tight, short skirt you are allowing your daughters to wear is not going to affect the boys who are actually trying to stay pure.
And I know it's easier to think that the boys gawking at all those things is no big deal.
And I also know that you are quite possibly going to be one out of everybody in your group of mom friends that takes a stand.

But in the end, the integrity and purity of your kids depends on it.

Don't be willing to trade your kids purity for approval from your friends.

Be that parent.
The one that has such a relationship of trust with your kids, that you both understand what you are doing and why you are doing it.

Stop the apathy. Stop being so passive.
Stop being unintentional.

And check your kids instagram for Pete's sake!
Let's raise a generation of kids who are making a difference for good in this world.

Who's with me?


  1. Perfect! I couldn't agree with you more, Rachelle!!

    1. So nice to hear that there are other moms who agree, Kerstin! :)

  2. Anonymous11:54 AM

    Hi Rachelle,

    You do not know me but I'm a new follower/reader of yours. Just random person that happened to stumble upon your blog (although I don't think that was by accident) and who looks forward to your parenting posts every week. A reader who oh so badly just wants to be a parent herself (and who still has faith that God will bless her and her husband with a child of their own) but for now is in the early steps of adoption. I'm saying all of this because reading your post about intentional parenting gets me so excited to put it into play once I have a child of my own. We have our eyes set on an eight year old girl (prayers appreciated that she will be ours) and I cannot wait to utilize what you've taught and posted thus far. You have to know that people are reading and are learning. I know that I am. Thank you so much for writing every week. It doesn't go unseen. I'm taking notes. Hope you have a blessed week!


    1. Hi Erica!
      Thank you so much for taking the time to write, and for your very sweet words. I will definitely be praying for you and your husband that God will give you the desires of your heart, and that He will give peace and hope while you wait!! Message me any time, I love new friends :) ajnrileysmommy @ hotmail .com


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