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Monday, March 10, 2014

Mommy Monday ~ Parenting against the flow

Let's face it.
Parenting is hard work.
Just when you think you have things down to a science,
child #2 comes along and you suddenly have a wake up call -

What?! These things worked on your brother, why are they not working on you??

You've all been there, right?

As if adjusting for each child isn't hard enough, suddenly you find yourself in the middle of either spoken or unspoken disapproval from other parents.

It might be from your own parents, or in-laws, or it might be people who aren't even related to you.
Either way, it is not exactly a place you have the energy to deal with!

I like lists. I like for things to be spelled out for me.
So that's what I am going to do...
Give you a list of ways that you can deal with parenting against the flow

1. Do not be close friends with people who are putting down your way of parenting.

The verse that says Bad company ruins good morals (or good character) is totally true.
Don't be fooled into thinking that hanging around people who have an entirely different view of parenting is not going to rub off on you! Or rub you the wrong way. Either way, you don't want that kind of rubbing. Ha!
It may appear to be snobby, but it is just wise.
You need to be careful who you spend time with, and you need to teach your kids that they need to be careful who they spend their time with too.
If it is a family member who is discouraging you in your way of parenting it is a good idea to talk to them in a respectful way and just tell them that you have decided how you are going to be raising your kids and it is difficult when they put that down. Being upfront and honest is always the right way to start!

2. Be intentional and then confident in your choices.

Some people are actually way too confident in their choices when they shouldn't be! Right?!                 I mean, how many times have you seen people  in a store yelling "ok, bye bye Suzie. I'm leaving now. Bye. I'm leeaavvinggggg!" in an effort to get their kid to come to them!
That is just a tad too confident and more than a tad unintentional!
Think through your choices, and your whys.
Your child doesn't necessarily always need to know why, but we as parents should always know why!
When we have to set rules for video game time playing, it's not just because it's getting on my nerves. It's not just because I feel guilty that they are in front of the tv for too long.
I have a why!
My whys are always based on the Bible, and in that case, I use verses in proverbs that talk about the dangers of laziness.
What happens when I have my whys totally in place? It makes me totally confident in my decisions.

3. Choose friends that encourage you!

This is very similar to point 1. But it is equally as important! When you take something harmful out of your life it is essential to replace it with something helpful!
Find a church, or a mom's group, or something that is going to give you the support you need in the decisions that you are making! It's not only removing yourself from the negative people, it's replacing it with positive people!

4. Relax

Sometimes people get all up in arms about some of the craziest things that really don't matter at all. Does it matter if your 4-year-old still has a pacifier?
Does it matter if your son is playing 4 sports? or no sports?
Does it matter if your baby sleeps with you until they are 2?
Does it matter if you allow your child is to have a cell phone?
So many decisions we have to make as parents are totally preference!
Don't let little things that other people are giving you grief about get you down.
Just relax and let everything else go. Enjoy your life.

So...don't hang out with negative people, do hang out with positive people, be intentional and confident in your decisions, and then relax!

I get it. It's hard to parent when your choices are so different than people around you. The choices
Adam and I make are many, many times totally different than the majority of people I know.
But guess what? WE are the ones who answer to God for how we are raising our kids...no one else. So get off our backs! Haha!! But seriously. Get off our backs.
At the end of the day you have to do what is right for your family!
So keep it up!

And if you need someone to hang out with who is going to encourage your intentional decisions?
Hit me up.
My house is a judgment-free zone!

Happy Monday!

1 comment:

  1. :) this is great!!! And no seriously get off my back;) I love lists too so this was perfect!!


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