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Thursday, August 22, 2013

Something that makes me sick

Have you ever had a time when you know you need to do the right thing...
Say the right comment, not the sarcastic one?
Do something nice to someone when you feel they don't deserve it?

And you literally, physically feel sick to your stomach with just the very thought of "giving in" and doing the right thing?

Ok. Well, me either.
I was just wondering if you had.

But seriously, it's like what is with that?
What is with the fact that just thinking of doing the right thing makes you feel like you're being weaker, like you are giving in, like you are surrendering...and can literally make your stomach react?

I mean...I know that the Bible talks about the flesh and the spirit fighting against each other.
In my body? It is like a full out war.
Like, pulling your hair, screaming and clawing and wanting to...I don't know, win?

If you have never read the Bible, or even if you have read it but are just not in the habit of reading it every day?

I gotta warn you!

It can make you sick.

I am sorry if that sounds totally blasphemous and ridiculous.
But I just happened to go over to this page which has a list of verses on it.

I am trying to fight against the negative thinking that I feel is going on in my head.
(I know that none of my readers ever deal with this...duh. But I do. So bear with me!)
Oh it comes in many different variations, some of which make me feel like a holy martyr, but are in reality pure sinful negative thoughts.
I am a terrible mother.
I need to lose 10 pounds.
I do not deserve to be treated like this. (you can read this post here about dealing with hurt)
I can not succeed at anything I do.
Basically...waa waa waa!!

And then you open the Bible and it's like conviction up and slaps you right in the face.
Or more like punches you in the gut.

I need to be reminded that I have an enemy. I can't possibly think that if my goal in life is to please God, the enemy is going to just ignore me.

And when I start thinking of it as not letting him win?
I can't help but give in and surrender to the one who made me and gave me the guidebook in the first place.

It's all about focus.
It's funny how even when life slows down during vacation, your life still goes on.
Your mind still goes a hundred miles a minute, and you still have the opportunity to do the right thing or do the wrong thing.

I can't take a vacation from God.

I am sorry I had to go and write 2 deep rambling posts in a row.
I normally try to split them up and give people a chance to breath and see some photography or family time or something totally random!

But for some reason I felt like God wanted me to write this tonight.

So for those of you who are finding yourself feeling sick to your stomach with the very thought of doing right...listen to those feelings!
Know that it is called conviction and when the Holy Spirit decides to convict you...
you better not ignore it!

God's Word is a light.
It is alive.
If you are a child of God you better be in it.
And not only that...you better be obeying it!

And if you are doing both of those things.
Let's be friends.
For real.
Let's stick together, keep each other accountable and help each other out the next time
something happens that makes me sick!!

Get on that.

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