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Wednesday, March 06, 2013

preemptive living

i don't think it's a secret that i am a huge fan of intentional parenting.
i am constantly seeing anything but parents who are intentionally doing anything!
everything is blamed on a stage, and it is just assumed that certain ages will bring certain actions.
and we figure there is nothing we can do about it.

i use the term "we" loosely, because i am not one of those "we"!

i just want to encourage some of my mom friends today.
you do not have to live your life with the mind set of just hanging on tight until....
you name it:

the terrible 2's are over
the talking back stage is over
the pre-teen bad attitude phase is done.
and on and on the stages go

if we live our lives that way, we are kind of in for a big let down, right?
i mean...what comes after the so-called terrible 2's?
the 3's! and then the 4's...and each new age comes with new challenges!

what if we were preemptive about things?
what if we decide that before our kids turn fill-in-the-blank, we have a plan?
i think that things would be a lot different.

i decided before my kids could even speak that whining was not going to be tolerated in our home!
i mean for my sanity alone that was how it was going to work!
i set the standard early, with consequences when they tried it, and we just trudged ahead.

because my boys are getting older, i know we are right on the edge of all kinds of potential issues when it comes to girls.

i have set aside a list of Bible verses that my boys are going to have memorized...ya know, like ammunition.
see - we know that they are going to face problems and situations in life. right?
we can't protect them forever.
do i want them to be unarmed?
of course not!

the things that i see going at the public school in my town are really just blowing me away.
but the thing is, i think that they can be prevented!
if i am teaching my 10-year-old right now to have self control over emotions...
if i am giving him the tools he needs to control himself...
when he is put in a difficult situation, he is already prepared!
he will know how to handle it!

will he always do the right thing?
of course not!
but he will be more likely to if he knows ahead of time what is coming.

we do that in every little area of our lives, don't we?
don't we check the weather before planning a trip?
don't we check our bank balance before going shopping?
don't we scurry around trying to wash our hands and get our flu shots before flu season?

we need to do the same with our kids.
arm them!
give them what they need before the situation even arises!

let's work together here moms!
give our kids what they need, and give them the confidence by expecting them to do right!

here are my favorite easily-memorizable verses for toddlers:

ephesians 6:1 - children obey (easy for even a 2-year-old!) you can add the your parents in the Lord for this is right when they are a little bit older.
ephesians 4:32 - be kind. (you can add one to another later)

for older kids:

james 1:19 everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak and slow to become angry

proverbs 12:16 a fool shows his annoyance at once but a prudent man overlooks an insult

for pre-teen boys (and girls!)

psalm 101:3 i will set no wicked thing before my eyes

psalm 19:14 let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight o Lord.

encourage them to find their own verses...verses that will help them with their own personal struggles. write them down. carry them in a 3x5 card in their pocket! save it on their phone.
whatever is going to help them the most!

and then remind them of philippians 4:13! i can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!

if you really want to push yourself, memorize these verses with them!
tell them you are going to be praying for them, and really do it!
show them you have the confidence that if they strive to do things God's way, you have NO DOUBT that they will succeed!

we can do this together!
we can change this town.

let's try and become known for being the town with the respectable, self-controlled, motivated kids.
who's with me???


  1. Wonderful!

    Amen to no whining! That rule was set in our house a long time ago, too...

    A big thing for me was teaching my daughter self-respect so that now, as a 13-year-old, she knows how to carry herself.


  2. This is wonderful! Ahh one of the hardest things about having a baby is hearing... Oh hes so good now but hes going to be horrible at 2 .. .or just wait til "fill in the blank"

    Thanks for the wonderful reminder. We have a long way to go .. but I can't wait to read more of your thoughts!

  3. I love your giftedness of writing and the amazing truth you teach!


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