a year ago and my trust level

it was just one year ago this month, that i was up late at night, trying to decide if i should take my 10 year old to the emergency room, or tell him to shake it off. 
i am normally the shake-it-off kind of mom, but this time was different.
(like the time i told my 2-year-old to shake it off when he had rolled out of bed and wouldn't stop crying! i mean, alright already! oh wait...what's that, doctor? he broke his collar bone? oh. ok then. carry on with your crying, riley!)
aj was in a lot of pain, and it was clear that he needed some medical attention.
you can read about him and his appendicitis here.

what happened after that was interesting.
first of all, one of his incisions became infected and he had to have a couple more procedures that were pretty painful. also, around the time that aj was in the hospital, a worker was arrested for infecting patients with hepatitis c through contaminated syringes.
you can imagine my reaction when i first got the letter in the mail saying that aj had to be tested!
we decided not to tell aj what was happening, and why he needed to get blood drawn months after his surgery! we didn't think it would really prove anything for him to worry!
his initial results came back negative, and it was a huge relief.
i then received a phone call telling me that since it had not been six months since the surgery they couldn't be sure that they would have been able to accurately determine if he had hep c or not.
back to the hospital for more blood work.
a couple days later...we found out that he tested negative.
and we were relieved again and thankful that it was finally over!

dealing with your own health issues is one thing.
dealing with potential health problems for your kids can be terrifying!
no one wants to see their child go through any pain!

it was a reminder to me of the fact that there are some things we have NO control over.
and while this may seem like the kind of thing that would make you worry and be fearful...
it actually does quite the opposite for me.

see...i have a God.
an amazingly loving, compassionate Father.
who created me. who knows what is best. and who directs my steps.

it was a reminder to me of the fact that trusting this amazing God?
is the best place i could ever be.

i think i will stay here in this place.
this place of worry-free, stress-free, peaceful living.
yep. it feels good to be here.



philippians 4:6
"don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done."