The Amazing Gift of Hope in Death

Many of you remember my friend Bryce.
He is a friend of my family's that I have known ever since I can remember.
We have had some great memories with him, but one of our favorites was our trip to disney 

About 2 years ago he was in a horrific car accident that almost took his life.
I went with my parents to orlando to visit him and couldn't believe the shape he was in. It was a really emotional time, and I wrote this song as a comfort while we were all praying for his healing. He miraculously recovered and he then came to NH to live with us for a while as he went through some physical therapy.
We loved it.
My boys adore Bryce, and I remember them making him a big banner to take to the airport the day we picked him up.

We went thrifting. Had movie nights (complete with every kind of m-n-m's you can imagine) and of course, diet coke...one of me and bryce's major food groups.
He spoiled me and the boys and always treated us like royalty. He really made extra efforts to show the boys he cared about them, even though his health was so bad as a result of the accident.

Saturday, I texted him and he never texted back.
This was really unusual.
I tried no to worry about it, but remembered that the last time this happened, was when he had been in the car accident.

I found out last night that something had happened while he was home alone, and he had died.

It is still hard to wrap my mind around.
When there is someone in your life who you are close to, you just live life thinking that they will always be there, even though you know we are all going to die one day.

Last night was difficult for me, and I just wanted to be with Adam. (I am still in NJ)
I kept looking at my phone as if I expected there to be one more text from Bryce.

Telling me I was his favorite. (even though I think he told that to everyone...well. not everyone, but a lot of people.)
I wish that I had texted him Friday instead of Saturday.
I wish that I had one more text from him telling me that he loved me.
I wish I had sent one more text to him telling him that I loved him too.

BUT.
I was blown away this morning by the reminder of this incredible gift that God has given us.
The amazing gift of hope in death.

See..I don't have to walk around "hoping" that Bryce is in heaven.
I don't have to pray that God will allow him to enter heaven.
I don't have to wonder and wish and fear.

No.
I know.
The hope I have is a different kind of hope.
It is a confident expectation.
It is a firm assurance regarding things that we can not see.

According to the very Word of God himself, If you have placed your hope and trust in God alone for Salvation, you have the assurance that you will be in heaven someday.
period.
end of story.

It is an amazing gift from God.
Because if he didn't give us that, we would be left to wonder.
To wonder if there is life after death, to wonder if there really is a place called heaven and a place called hell.
I don't have to hope Bryce was good enough to go to heaven.
He wasn't.
I'm not.
He knew that, and he knew that the only way to get to heaven is to stop trying himself, and put his all of his hope in Jesus for Salvation.

And I don't think Bryce is "resting in the arms of the angels" or whatever else people write in a mystical, imaginary way of writing.
The Bible talks a lot about heaven.
It tells us there is no pain, no sorrow, no suffering.
I think Bryce is dancing right now.
I think he has pocketfulls of m-n-m's and I think he is dancing.
And then I think he will spend some time horse back riding.

Either way, He is filled with energy and he is laughing.
And he is waiting for me to get there...for all of his family and friends to get there.

That does not mean that there is not sadness with him gone.
I had a rough night last night.
When I saw that #40 on my list of 100 things to do in 1001 days was going back to disney with Bryce, I totally lost it.
We had plans to go to the Deerfield Fair this year, my boys prayed literally every night that Bryce would come to NH to live, and we even had a Disney cruise plan in the making.

I will miss him like crazy.
But I have no doubt I will see him again.

Even though I have so many...I-wish-I-could-have-told-him-one-more-time's, it reminds me of the things that I want to tell all the other people I am close to now.
So I will.
I will be thankful for the times I had with Bryce.
And I will hug my friends a little tighter, write a few more texts, emails and letters.
You just never know when it might be your last.

Thank you so much to everyone who sent sweet texts, emails and Bible verses of encouragement. Your words and your friendship means so so much to me.

And just in case God lets you look down from heaven for a second to see my blog...
I Love you so much Bryce. I am so thankful that God put you in my life.
You made me so happy and always made me feel so special. I love the way you loved my boys and I love the way you cared so much about my family.

I Can't wait to see you again.
Save some chocolate for me.
xo